Life's going pretty fucking great for Joe Alwyn. He's fresh out of drama school and the lead in a new Ang Lee movie. He's exploring the States for the first time, getting drunk with his mates when he meets her....THE girl of his dreams. Just one pro...
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"Even a good deck of cards gets shuffled around"
***
"You saw Robert De Niro in the bathroom? That's insane. What did you say to him?"
"I didn't say anything. Are you crazy, Linds? He's a two-time Academy Award winner, like I could ever talk to him."
"Pussy," Lindsay scoffed.
"Hey!" Joe gasped. "Whatever happened to your stance against toxic masculinity, eh?"
"I'm sorry. You know how I get about Hollywood. I just want to know everything, and you're my closest link," Lindsay heaved, adjusting her position against Joe's chest.
"You're literally interning at the BBC and have a job as a junior reporter, surely you could find some celebrity gossip there," Joe said bitterly, slightly annoyed by her transfixion on his Hollywood experience. He understood her excitement, it made sense, of course. It just bothered him. He was hoping she was going to ask how his parents were doing or how the Chelsea match was. He didn't come to her flat to field Hollywood questions, that's for sure.
"I suppose that's true," Lindsay sighed. She got quiet again, resumed the picking of her nails. The ghastly silence returned, and Joe felt his insides swell with discomfort.
Thankfully Lindsay had enough tact to fill the space with more of her musings.
"I taped last night's episode of the Housewives since we were.. busy when it aired. We can watch it now if you'd like."
"When have I ever been into that rubbish?" Joe scowled.
"Ugh," Lindsay groaned, propping herself upright. "I can't take another one of your rants about how it's garbage T.V and manufactured drama and an insult to humanity."
"It's fine, we can watch it," Joe grumbled. He wasn't in the mood for an argument. It was much too early.
"I think I deserve this after listening to your miserable little indie records. I don't want to hear Boniver's sad piano track while you lick my clit," Lindsay said pointedly, fumbling with the remote.
"You didn't seem all that disappointed last night," Joe quipped, sinking back into the pillows. He really just wanted to go back to bed. It was only 7:45 am after all, and he was still jet-lagged. He was starting to regret his decision to let Lindsay pick him up at the airport. That was dumb of him. He should've known where he'd end up.
"Fair point," Lindsay mumbled. She flipped on the TV and E! News came on. "God, I better change the channel, real quick," she jeered, mocking Joe in a high-pitched voice. "God forbid, I watch this and rot my brain."
Joe only rolled his eyes, was this close to grabbing the remote out of her hands, when he heard something. Taylor's name.
"She's got a long list of ex-lovers, and that list seems to be growing by the minute! This just in: pop superstar Taylor Swift and actor Tom Hiddleston are confirmed to be dating after they were caught in a steamy makeout session along the Long Island beaches. Perhaps, Calvin Harris was right and there was more to their Met Gala dance-off," the blonde E! News anchor reported, gesticulating animatedly.
Joe froze. What the fuck?
"Oh my God, are you okay?" Lindsay snickered, pretending to take his pulse. "You look like you got your balls severed off, or something."
"What? No. I'm fine," Joe answered much too quickly. Despite having recently wrapped up an Ang Lee film, he couldn't hide the discoloration in his face or the throatiness in his voice.
Lindsay eyed Joe suspiciously, clearly not buying it. "Who knew Hiddleswift would cause such a strong reaction," she teased, painfully unaware of what went down at the corner of Sunset and Vine.
"Hiddleswift?" Joe mumbled. "What's that?"
"You live under a fucking rock, Joseph," Lindsay chastised. "Here, look, it's all over Twitter. It's Taylor and Tom's ship name."
She leaned over Joe's shoulder and showed him the endless stream of Hiddleswift tweets. Memes of them kissing on the rocks, Marvel manips, video edits of their Met Gala dance off. They were everywhere.
"That's enough," Joe swallowed, his tone sharper than he intended. "I'm sorry, Linds. I'm sorry. I just..uh I don't really care for dumb gossip. That's all."
Lindsay rolled her eyes, but willingly exited out of the Twitter app, stifling a laugh. "When have you ever?" she teased. "Taylor Swift could walk through this bloody flat and you probably wouldn't recognize her."
Touché. "Mmm, probably not," Joe replied distantly, fully aware that he would more than recognize Taylor if she walked into this room. He'd probably spiral at a whiff of her perfume. Maybe even pass out and die. She had that effect on him. The power to make him lose all sense of control.
It was senseless though. Senseless to let her into his mind, because she wasn't interested in Joe. She had made that abundantly clear actually, running away from her toxic-ex straight into Tom's arms. She wasn't even interested in pursuing a friendship with Joe anymore, hadn't said a word to him since the Met Gala as if there was a three-week expiration date on their time together.
"I ought to make you flashcards, so that you're prepared for your next event in America," Lindsay laughed, trying her best to cheer Joe up.
"Mmm, you do that," he replied absent-mindedly.
"You sure you're okay?" Lindsay murmured worriedly. Her eyebrows were pinched and Joe suddenly felt guilty. Guilty that his stupid crush on Taylor was making her concerned. "I just want to make sure that you didn't catch some weird STD or genital virus," she continued, her voice bubbly again.
Joe laughed. "How kind of you to think of my testicular health."
"Please, don't act so macho," Lindsay heckled. "I'm looking out for my lady bits, if you know what I mean."
Right. Don't remind me. "Well, I can assure you that any damage to your lady bits will not be because of me. Little Joe is healthy as can be."
Lindsay wrinkled her nose, slinking further underneath the Primark sheets. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that," she grimaced.
"That would be for the best," Joe murmured awkwardly. His dirty jokes didn't always land with Lindsay.
"But...," she whispered seductively, her eyes conveying desire, "Since your little guy's in good health, how about another go?"
Don't do this to me. "I'm sorry," Joe heaved. "I'm just tired from the flight, and I really ought to see my parents and Pat. My mum's already texted me like five times." He gave her shoulder an awkward rub, before untangling himself from the bedsheets. "But uh, thanks for everything, Lindsay. The ride, the pizza, the 'you know what'. I needed this."
He watched Lindsay's face fall, but she was quick to hide it, pulled on a fake smile. That's what three years of Drama school got you. "Of course," she swallowed. "It's good to have you back, mate. Drinks soon?"
"Absolutely."
AN: hey guys! This is a short one, but I wanted to publish another CSS chapter since I've deprived y'all of RA chapters for so long! Next chapter will prob feature more of Joe's home life/friend group to build him as a character, but dw I'll sneak in bits about Taylor. Thanks for reading babes! Hope you all are doing great! (ps I'm aiming to publish Chapter 8 of RA on Monday)
