Healing

Chapter 6

I'm currently sat in Josh's exam room, my knee bouncing out of nerves as Josh looks through my file. "Come here baby" He beckons me over to him. I stand from the chair I was sat on and walk over to him. He pulls me down onto his lap, my side pressed to his front. He rubs soothing circles on my back and I lay my head on his shoulder, my face pressed into his neck. 

"You explained before that your anxiety has become pretty bad since being at college?" I nod in confirmation. "Okay, so I was thinking we could try some anxiety medication, after this appointment I will write a prescription and we can go pick it up. What do you think?" He asks as he browses my file on his computer. Huh. That could actually help. Maybe coming here was a good idea. Josh did say he was going to help me and this medicine might actually make me feel better in general. 

"Yeah, I'm willing to try anything." I breathe out. "Okay honey, this should help and if it doesn't we can always try something else." He says as he kisses my temple. 

"Okay lets get started, yeah baby?" I take a deep breath and just get this over with. He picks me up, walks over to the exam table and gently places me down onto the paper covered bed. "We will do height and weight later, can I start with listening to your heart?" I nod. This is no big deal, I'm just thinking about when I was a child and thought everything was scary. I'm an adult and I can get a physical like everyone else, without a huge fuss. 

He unwraps the stethoscope from around his neck and places it in his ears. "This is going to go under your shirt, okay sweetie" He informs me as he warms the bell up with his hand. "Okay" I breathe out. He slips the bell under my shirt and gently places it on my chest and softly holds my arm with his free hand. I feel the cold metal rest against the left side of my chest, on my boob and I inhale from surprise. "Sorry baby, its a little cold." Josh chuckles out and I smile. As my lips curl up into a grin he leans forward and kisses my bottom lip, still listening to my heart. Even from the small gesture my heart speeds up and Josh chuckles again. "Well that got a little reaction." He smiles cheekily and my cheeks flame- probably the reddest he has ever seen them and I move away from the bell.

"Hey, I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. Just relax baby, I'm almost done." Hey says still grinning, I know he isn't sorry, and places the bell back on my chest. We stay quiet for the next two minutes as Josh gently moves the bell around my chest, listening in different areas. He takes the bell off of my chest and smiles. "Healthy heart" he leans in and pecks the tip of my nose "sounds absolutely perfect." 

"Can I listen to your lungs?" He asks and I nod cheeks hot. He moves to my side, instead of standing in front of me and holds my shoulder with his free hand, as his hand holding the bell slides under my shirt and rests against my skin. "Take a deep breath for me honey." I do and continue until he is done listening. "Anddd healthy lungs too." He flashes his gorgeous, white smile at me and wraps the stethoscope back around his neck.

"I'm going to feel your neck, just checking your lymph nodes sweetie." He tells me as he tilts my chin up slightly and then places his warm hands on each side of my neck. His fingers are feeling under my jaw and it kind of tickles so I squirm and giggle. "It tickles" I laugh out and he smiles at me. "I'm almost done, try to relax babe, stay still for me." He places his hands back on my neck and feels under my ears, his hands gentle and then he says he is done. 

"Okay babe, can I have a look in your mouth? I'm going to use this tongue depressor and a flash light to check your throat." He shows me what he will use and I just nod. I don't really want to do any of this but, Josh was right-it doesn't hurt and I don't feel scared with him so I just do whatever he says for him and his piece of mind. "Open for me angel," I do, "good girl, and stick out your tongue for me- thankyou." He gently places the popsicle stick looking thing on my tongue and shines his penlight in my mouth. "Can you say ahh for me baby?" He asks me after a moment of looking and I do.