In The Stars

Cancer in a Can

Aspertain

I refrain

from eating anything

that will make me gain weight

I drink sugar free monsters

and diet coke

102 pounds

my brain tells me its too much

i try to stay in the 90s 

they all tell me to eat

im not hungry 

like paramore isnt angry

so ill step on the scale and watch the numbers drop

as my body trys to stay frail

my hands will shake but ill be liked

i need some help and confidence

so someone tell me how to gain weight without feeling pain

without crying myself to sleep because i cant find warmth

theres no heat in my body as my circulation dies with no nutrients 

i hold myself in ball just to be comfortable

my words can go to 200 

but my weight could never

maybe ill eat today without being nauseas

~Dezaray Schilling