Beautiful time (Noren)

24

Over the next few days Renjun's state of mind improves a bit. He of course can't forgive until he hears it from Jeno himself but he will give him time. He's been trying really hard to get out of the pattern of cutting but it's kind of like a drug. Once you start it pulls you in, then every emotion you feel is tied to it somehow. He's slowed it way down but it's still there. Like an itch that he can't scratch.

"Renjun!" Jaemin shouts at lunch.
"What? Oh sorry." He says when he realizes he was day dreaming again.
"What's going on with you? Mark said you've been a little sad and that we should all go out but like what happened?" Renjun sighs, him and Jaemin are friends and he does feel bad for keeping it from him.
"It's just, you know, my husband, I probably shouldn't call him that though. He said some things the other day that he probably didn't mean but it hurt, really bad. I was deep in my sadness, if you will. Drowning my sorrows with beer and Donghyuck and Mark found me and took care of me." Jaemin smiles softly.
"I'm sorry, are you better now? Did you guys work it out?" Renjun shakes his head.
"Not yet, I'm giving him space to figure things out. I think he will come around but I want you to know the rest of it too. But please, keep it between us. The only other people that know are Mark and Donghyuck." Jaemin nods as he pulls up his sleeves carefully, showing his cuts. Jaemin gasps and gently picks up his arm.
"It's a problem for me, or like a really bad coping mechanism, like I know I should stop but it's hard you know?" He looks at Jaemin who's wiping tears.
"Please don't be sad, I'm ok." Jaemin smiles.
"Let me be your coping mechanism." Renjun's brows crease in confusion.
"Talk to me, or just let me sit with you while you hurt and hold your hand through the pain." Renjun softly smiles.
"Your sweet. I might take you up on that. You will make someone a really good boyfriend someday. You like girls right?" Renjun asks.
"Uh, well both really. I've had both, I guess it doesn't matter though as long as we both feel it you know?" Renjun smiles, he's known Jaemin for a few years now and considers him to be his best friend and this is the first time they've ever talked about his love interests.
"I have to get back now, thank you Jaemin. I'm glad I have you as a friend." Renjun walks away leaving Jaemin still in a state of shock, he can't get over how calmly he is about the slices up his arm.

"Are you ready to go?" Mark asks Renjun as Jaemin and him walk up. He stands and pushes in his chair.
"Where are we eating?" Renjun asks as Jaemin's phone rings. He frowns and holds up his finger while backing away.
"Guys, uh I'll have to meet you. I'll text you ok?" Jaemin says walking out. They both look at each other with concern but shrug it off.
"I hope everything is ok? Like he would have said if it wasn't, right?" Renjun asks.
"Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. Besides, he said he would text us and meet up so let's go eat then have some drinks." Renjun laughs.
"No, I want drinks now. Then we eat." He gets a sinister look in his eyes but Mark just chuckles and follows him out.
At the first bar Renjun has just a couple drinks. He's small but he can hold a fair amount of liquor. Him and Mark are just letting loose, having fun as friends. Renjun gets up to dance and Mark laughs his ass off at him when two girls come up, and rub up against him while dancing. Renjun makes a face and Mark loves it. When the song is over Renjun walks up and slaps Mark's arm when he sees the video he took.
"Donghyuck loved that." His face falls.
"Ewe, why? I look bad and I can't dance and there were too many girls." Mark laughs again.
"You look fine and your dancing is fine plus it was only two girls." Renjun shakes his head.
"I don't even mind dancing with girls I just don't want their lady bits touching me." Mark loses his mind with laughter.
They went to one more bar but only had one drink because it was kind of dead so they finally decide to go to the restaurant. Renjun texts Jaemin but figured he must have had to change plans. By the time they got to the restaurant they were feeling the alcohol more and it doesn't help that they are waiting for their table in the restaurant's bar as well.
Renjun is now a giggling mess as he tries but fails to flirt with a cute tall stranger at the bar. Mark is laughing so hard he is practically falling off his stool.
"I have to pee." Renjun says standing. He makes his way out of the bar area to the restaurant and asks the first person he sees which direction to go. Once on the correct path he stops dead in his tracks when he sees a familiar face.
"Jaemin? Wait you have a date? Oh my god you ditched us for a woman or is it a man?" He asks drunkenly as he peeks around the booth to see his date. His throat goes dry and his head spins.
"Wait why are you on a date with my husb? Oh." He says sadly as he backs up.
"Renjun wait, I'm not on a date with him." Renjun shakes his head.
"Don't, you knew. All this time you've known, you seen the drawing. You know I l-love him and you just come in here and, fuck." Jeno is sitting with his head in his hands, at least until he hears the L word.
"I'm so confused." He mutters under his breath. He goes to stand to try to help the situation when Mark finally walks up.
"Oh hey guys. Jeno? I thought you were meeting your ex tonight?" Marks asks. Jaemin's head drops, his eyes can only see the floor at the moment. Renjun's hand flies up to his mouth and Jeno sinks back into his seat.
"You lied, all this time you lied. For what? You wanted to see me finally have someone in my life that cared about me, or so I thought anyway, just so you could come in and take him back? And you." He says looking at Jeno.
"You told me you were over him, and I for some stupid reason thought that I could be happy. For some stupid reason I thought you were my happiness. For some stupid reason I fell in love with you." Renjun is digging his finger nails into his wrists and Jaemin notices and tries to take his hand.
"Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me." There isn't a dry eye in the group. Jeno is at a loss for words as is Mark.
He doesn't say anymore, he can't. He turns and walks out. Both Jeno and Jaemin want to go after him but Mark shakes his head no.
"I'll go. Just finish your business." Jeno, still standing scowls at Jaemin.
"What the fuck Jaemin? This is low, even for you." Jaemin can't stop his flow of tears, his heart breaking with every second.
"Please, just let m-me explain?" Jeno starts to walk away.
"Where are you going?" Jaemin asks, following quickly behind.
"To find Renjun." Jaemin nods and continues to follow.
"I'm driving." He says and Jeno can only sigh and agree since he still isn't cleared for driving and knows a taxi isn't the best in this situation.
"Just hurry, please. I've hurt him enough." Jeno says trying not to cry.