Beautiful time (Noren)

26

When they pull up in front of Renjun's place Jeno is fast asleep.
"It's ok, you go up. I'll wait with him." Jaemin says. Renjun says a quiet ok and goes to get a few things. Not too many because aside from staying tonight so they can talk, he plans to come home the next. He refuses to overstay this time.

When he gets back to the car Jeno is sprawled out on the back seat making him chuckle. He gets into the front seat and smiles softly at Jaemin. They don't speak much on the way to Jeno's and Jaemin is starting to feel uncomfortable.
"Look, I'm sorry if this makes things weird. Don't let me affect anything, I just want you to be happy." He says in an almost whisper. Renjun can hear a mix of regret and sadness that pull at his heart.
"I would never stand in your way." He says softly. Renjun nods and pats his leg.
"I know Jaemin, I trust you." That means more to him than Renjun will ever know. After pulling over he pulls Renjun into him and hugs him.
"Alright let's get this sleepy head up shall we?" Jaemin says wiping his tears.
Renjun opens the back door and leans down and kisses Jeno's cheek making him jump. Both him and Jaemin find it quite amusing.
Just before they walk up Jeno turns to Jaemin and gives him one last hug.
"Thank you." Jaemin nods and squeezes him.
"You just do me a favor and take care of Renjun, he's a gem." Jeno nods and backs away and Renjun decides one more hug would feel good. Jaemin is more than happy to reciprocate, he's happy their friendship isn't ruined.

"Renjun, I'm so sorry. I'm such a terrible person." Jeno says sitting on the couch with a sigh.
"Oh, no you don't!" Renjun holds his hands out and pulls Jeno to his feet. He leads him into his room and grabs him shorts and a t shirt and pushes him toward the bathroom. He goes in slowly and changes, when he comes out he sees Renjun changing his sheets.
"Let me help?" Renjun shakes his head no.
"How about you make us some tea, then we can get into bed and talk for a bit before you sleep."
When he returns Renjun is changed into his soft fuzzy pajama pants and a t-shirt, sitting on the edge of the bed. He helps Jeno into bed and goes to his side, they sip their tea for a minute before Renjun sighs and starts talking.
"I'm not going to lie, you hurt me, bad. I felt like we had something special and that you had feelings for me and all it took was three words to make my world implode on me." Jeno wipes his eyes and takes Renjun's hand gently.
"Us, doing what we did brought up these deep seeded fears of mine. I had a nightmare that you were with someone else and I was pleading with you to stop and you just kept going and it was the same dread and fear and betrayal that I had felt when I saw Jaemin in our bed with someone else. At that time I was crushed, I thought the love of my life had betrayed me. Which he did but I've been realizing over the last few weeks we were together and even when you were gone that he wasn't the love of my life." He takes a deep breath.
"I knew it wasn't real, but the fear was deep. I just had all this what if he does it too? What if it's me? Maybe I drive people away? So I thought I'd push you away first." Renjun lays his head on Jeno's shoulder.
"Why did you lie to Donghyuck about me being here?" Jeno sighs.
"Because I wanted to die. I hated, no I still hate myself for what I said to you. If I had been rational I could have discussed it with you like an adult." Renjun now wipes his eyes and sniffles.
"He told me that you lied and also didn't take your medicine and It scared me so much. Please don't ever be reckless with your health." Jeno places his arm over Renjun's shoulder and pulls him closer yet.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything." Renjun sits up and turns so he's facing him.
"So, you and Jaemin huh?" Jeno sighs again.
"Yeah, I had no idea you were friends and I think he was probably right. I wouldn't have let you in if I knew you were. But after I did what I did, Donghyuck told me to get over my shit and to meet with him to ask why he did it, and honestly it puts everything in a new perspective and I wish I would have done it years ago. But nothing changes the fact that I hurt you so much." Jeno catches a glance at Renjun's wrist, his shirt had gone up just enough and instantly he was sobbing. He leans forward and clings to the other.
"I'm sorry, I did that to you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He cries until it turns into just whimpers. Renjun knows he wore himself out. He figured he wouldn't last too long anyway. He plays with his hair for a few minutes before he helps him onto his pillow.
"Shh, Shh, I'm here. I'm here go back to sleep." Renjun says when he feels Jeno's grip tighten. He snuggles into him and falls asleep soon after.

When Jeno wakes the next day his head is killing him, he reaches for Renjun but he's not there.
"Renjun? Junie? Ahh fuck." He says as he lays back down. He groans and rolls to his side, as much as he wants to look for him he can't. He closes his eyes and tries to Will himself back to sleep. Soon after Renjun walks in with a tray of food.
"Jeno." He says softly. He hums and rolls to his back.
"My head hurts." He whispers. Renjun sets the tray aside and feels his head. He grabs a thermometer out of the bathroom cabinet and checks his temperature.
"You have a fever. Aren't you taking antibiotics?" He hums again. Renjun quickly gets some pain meds and helps him to sit.
"Here, eat. I'll call your doctor." He goes to where his number is posted on the fridge.
When he gets back in the room Jeno is feeling somewhat better already.
"He said it could just be a virus but he wants to see you at noon to make sure it's not an infection." Jeno nods and looks down.
"What's wrong?" Renjun asks, going to sit by him and eat too.
"I just hate this, I wish it never would have happened. It's such a pain, taking all the meds, all the doctor visits and therapy." He sighs.
"It's better than the alternative." Renjun says softly, Jeno hums in question.
"You could be dead. I would rather go through this with you everyday for years, than ever have to attend your funeral." Jeno smiles and takes his hand and kisses the back.
"I need you to know that the reason I was so scared of you was because I am undeniably in love with you." Jeno says bravely. Renjun looks up with surprise written all over his face.
"I have been certain of my feelings for a while but I was scared that if I told you I would end up losing you. I know it sounds dumb, but it's just how my brain works." Renjun smiles and looks into Jeno's eyes, his own sparking.
"Really? I love you too. I would have settled for you to even just like me a little." He says with a giggle. Jeno frowns.
"Don't settle for anything. You are amazing, smart, funny and beautiful." He says looking into his eyes.
"I don't want to get you sick but I really want to kiss you." Renjun leans over and gently kisses his lips.
"I don't mind getting sick, we can nurse each other back to health." Jeno smiles and leans back in for more, at least until the pain returns.
"Let's get ready to go." Renjun says after Jeno whimpers in pain.

Renjun sticks by him every step of the way, it turns out he has a flu virus but since he's more susceptible to infection they double his antibiotics dosage. Renjun stays another night with him so he can keep watch over him.
Every little movement or sound Jeno makes in the middle of the nights has Renjun up checking his temp and fixing his pillows and blankets.

"Thank you for taking care of me Junie. You can stay the night again though." Jeno says with a pout.
"I'll tell you what, you be a good boy this week and get better so on Friday we can go out on a date, and if that all goes well I'll stay the whole weekend." Jeno smiles brightly.
"Deal." He grabs his waist and pulls him into his arms.
"I love you." He says with a shy smile.
"I love you. Get some rest ok? I'll see you tomorrow after work." He smiles at Jeno being cute and pouty while he leaves. He honestly would love to stay but they haven't moved in together so he needs to dial it back for now.
He goes home to his quiet lonely place and stares at his bathroom door trying to fight the urge. He honestly feels great right now but that doesn't stop the itch.
He only hopes as he adds one more notch that this will be his last. He's already embarrassed because he knows Jeno saw them and it's inevitable that he will see the scars.
He cleans up quickly and heads off to bed. He calls Jeno to see how he's feeling and to hear his voice one more time before sleep.
"Goodnight love." Jeno whispers softly. Renjun chuckles at his silly attempt at a British accent.
"Goodnight Jen, love you."