Once Upon A Time

Chapter 4

The moving up ceremony ended just fine and I was able to deliver my speech perfectly which I really want. My OCD self is acting up really hard.

My parents got really proud of me so I'm very satisfied with that but the person I'm trying to impress didn't seemed to be impress.

I got really busy the week before the ceremony and also Vien. I get to see her when we're practicing in the afternoon but we didn't even had a conversation.

After that incident in the canteen, I don't know if it's just me being paranoid but Vien seems very distant although nagrereply naman siya sa mga texts ko. I'm very bothered too that she and that Faxx guy had been hanging out frequently.

Idagdag pa na ang daming kwento ng babaeng ginulo ako sa canteen. She became my source of information even though hindi ko siya pinapansin. Lagi niya akong sinasabayan kumain ng lunch after that first encounter.

She's like Vien, very bubbly but also different. This Wynn girl knows a lot of information, almost everything that catches the attention of those "Marites". Kahit yung mga issues ng teacher naikukwento na niya sakin. Ilang beses ko na siyang tinaboy at napagod na ako kaya tinigilan ko nalang.

During lunch time that week, laging magkasabay kumain ang mga staffers ng Filipino publication and that includes Vien kaya hindi ko siya maayang kumain kasama ko and she didn't tried to invite me too.

I'm kind of jealous because she get to be happy even though we're not having a lot of time. Maybe I am very dependent on her kaya ganito? I don't like what I am feeling. I don't want to be possessive of her. She's not even mine for Pete's sake.

A lot had happened after that. Summer break started and that adds up to the rarity of me and Vien having a conversation in person. I got busy reading books again and texting here from time to time like sending "Good morning!" or "Good night!" but she'll just reply the same message too. Not even interested to make the convo long.

"Xyzkz, anak can you invite Vien over dinner? I haven't seen her after your moving up ceremony. Do you have any problems?"

"I'll try Nay, she seemed busy eh."

I texted Vien during lunch but it's already 3 pm pero wala parin akong natatanggap na reply mula sa kanya. So I decided to open my Facebook just to scroll to see some news. I'm not really active on it but I'm using it from time to time and my friends didn't even reached 500. I only accepted those that I know.

I've been scrolling non stop for 30 minutes and I still haven't received any reply from Vien so I decided to open my messenger to check if she's online and luckily, she is but what catched my attention is the blue circle around her profile picture. I pressed that and it directed me to a short video which seems to be uploaded 20 minutes ago. It was a silhouette of a guy and girl. For some reason, I have and idea which my mind rejected instantly so I typed my message and sent it to her telling her that Nanay wants to see her over dinner.

I waited and waited for her reply until it's already 5 in the afternoon. Pumasok ulit sa utak ko ang nakita ko kanina. I know that she and Faxx might be really dating and she didn't even bothered to tell me that. I thought we're best friends?

Later that evening, I told Nanay that Vien have something to do so she might not be coming over for dinner and she didn't made a fuss out of it.

Knowing Nanay, she might have noticed my cloudy aura kaya pagkatapos naming kumain pinuntahan niya ako sa kwarto ko.

"You okay Xykz? Vien haven't visited you nor you visited Vien these past few days like you always do during summer. Do you have any problem?"

I don't know what to answer. I know that she might already noticed too that I like Vien more than a friend or a best friend.

"I don't know Nay. Maybe this is where we really have to end?"

"What do you mean end, anak? Maybe you two should try to talk it all out. Malay mo you just misunderstood each other, diba?"

Nanay got a point but I'm too afraid to know that what we have will just fall into "best friends category".

"Thanks Nay. Maybe I should really talk to her to clear everything up." Because I missed her already.

After the talk I had with Nanay, nagbasa nalang ako ng libro na hindi ko naman naintindihan kasi lumilipad ang utak ko sa nakita ko kanina.

To ease my mind, tinignan ko ulit and pinost ni Vien pero wala na at hindi niya parin naseen ang message ko sa kanya. Gusto kong magalit but am I in the right position to get mad?

I planned to close the my phone so I can sleep but a random chathead popped up on the screen of my phone. I thought it was Vien so I immediately opened it but to my surprise it was Wynn. The annoying girl that keeps on buggin me.

"Hi Xykz!"

"What do you want?"

"Sungit mo naman. Hindi ba pwedeng namiss lang kita?"

How I wish this is Vien talking to me but she isn't this girl. Hindi na ako nagreply after ng message na at isasara ko na ulit ang phone pero nagmessage ulit siya.

"Alam mo na ba?"

That caught my attention so I opened the chathead again.

"Alam ko na ang ano?"

Matagal pa bago siya nakapagreply but I waited for it since I want to know what she wants to say.

"Si Vien na at si Faxx! Kanina lang, sinagot na niya ata based sa mga post ni Faxx."

I regretted my decision to open that message. Curiosity can really kill a cat. I didn't reply to her message and tried to search for Faxx on Facebook.
I know I'm jealous and it fueled it up when I saw that Faxx's cover photo was the same silhouette photo Vien uploaded that I saw earlier.

I don't know what to feel. Gusto ko siyang tanungin kung bakit hindi niya sinabi sakin. Even though I like her as a girl, I wouldn't dare ruin her relationship with other people.

Maybe I wasn't really that important to her?

Maybe I only assumed that we're best friends but to her I'm just a passing acquaintance?

Maybe our crossroads ended already and what's left is asymptotic path that we have to face alone.

It hurts more than I thought it would. I wish this is only a dream.

~