Moleman's Epic Rap Battles #27: Insane Clown Posse Vs. It

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!

INSANE CLOWN POSSE...

...VS...

...STEPHEN KING'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!

BEGIN!

• It: •

My time has come to wake again from thirty years of slumber;

You'd do Penny-wise to make like Stan so you don't have to suffer,

When this small-town boogeyman destroys these Inner City Posers,

Serving up a terror-Tempest that'll trump your tepid 'coaster!

You're too old to stand a chance; I'm everything you've ever feared:

This world-consuming child-eater hungers like a Langolier!

A fiend beyond your foulest nightmares, for I'm not of this dimension;

Just like Giygas, my true form exceeds your feeble comprehension!

Lesser evils shrink before me; ask my old pal, Henry Bowers.

Watch me crash your crappy Carnival and make the spirits cower:

Drop your Great Milenko faster than a Disney record label;

Cutting jugulars of Juggalos, I make it extra-painful!

All your fans must be as blinded as the adults in these suburbs,

'Cause your whole discography belongs discarded in my gutter!

This is IT; the end for both of you! I'll drag your asses down,

And leave your bloated bodies floating where the water's thick and brown!

• Insane Clown Posse: •

Shaggy 2 Dope: Yo, we're a Psychopathic rapping pair of wicked-wild wrestlers...

Violent J: ...Out on a hunt To Catch A sewer-dwelling child Predator!

We lay a sucka bugaboo to Boogie Woogie Waste...

S2D: ...With Faygo shower spray like battery acid up In Yo' Face!

Got a deck of Joker's Cards, ripe for release from up our sleeves...

VJ: ...And their Unveiling's Thy undoing; ain't no drain will grant reprieve!

S2D: Our Mighty Death Pop is set for bursting more than your balloons.

Both: We'll blast your wack ass back to Hell's Pit with a Bang, Pow, Boom!

S2D: The Southwest Strangla's a distant cry from Scooby's stoner friend;

I'll tear your anus open wider than an anti-Eminem,

With disses damning as a ride down the Illusionary Halls,

Before I Slash your head right off and toss it like a Bowling Ball!

VJ: I fire off my Violent verses like a clip of silver bullets,

But in terms of wrecking you, 'bout any Loser crew could pull it.

Hard and steady as Maturin's shell, but fast with axe attacks,

And I'll be throwing you more Twiztid curves than Jeckel Brother Jack!

S2D: Call this the Ritual of Chüd, part número tres;

VJ: Won't be relenting 'til your putrid Derry-ére is straight-erased!

We'll take a hatchet to your balls and grind 'em into Curry stew...

Both: ...'Cause we've seen Miracles galore, but still we don't believe in you!

• It: •

Your skulls are thicker than the pages of the novel whence I hail,

But I can see Behind the Paint, and make your Hokus Pokus fail!

You think pure Evil Is Afraid of your pathetic little schtick?

I'll leech your bodies dry of blood just like that ol' Hockstetter prick,

So take your pick: I've got a thousand different ways for you to die.

Devour you and your producer, too; three piggies in a pie!

I'll undo you like a Slipknot; It's All Over for you maggots!

How can you hope to outwit me when you're stumped by f***ing magnets?

Darkness ancient as the Tower, and no sooner will I crumble,

For my horror is Universal; mimicking the whole ensemble.

Time for clowning 'round is through, and now I'm taking out the trash,

With eight unholy legs a-walkin', and my deadlights set to flash!

• Insane Clown Posse: •

Shaggy 2 Dope: Think you're above the human race with that Todash arachnid crap?!

Violent J: ICP acts Above the Law when we deliver Murder-Raps:

We'll leave more craters in your face than when you show up in the moon,

'Fore we extract your bloody, beating heart like it's Temple of Doom!

S2D: Then after all is said and done, we'll get some Juggalettes to gather,

And proceed to play some Neden Game on top of your cadaver!

VJ: Said we'd send you down to Hell, but it so happens that we lied...

S2D: ...Because that s**t's too good for you, and so you go to Echo Side!

VJ: The Riddle Box is popping open, and your final fate is sealed!

S2D: Prepare to meet your brother Dandelo out in the Killing Fields!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE!!!!!

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!