The way I was brought up wasn't all bad, wasn't all good either. Today as a grown woman I see how I was taught the wrong way. Go to work and pay bills. Don't ask no questions. I let the people I thought loved me would be there. They wasn't. I seen with my own eyes how sorry people are when their dead and gone. My whole life has been filled with grief. Pain. Despair. I lost it all behind a system that was never built for me. Making life harder than it already was. I had to get on government assistance after having my oldest son in 2008 today you can't pay me to get "assistance" the only person or thing that had anything to gain from taking my children was the system and my own mother. I don't know for sure if she called them, in my heart I know she did. Then I didn't know much about laws after life's lessons kicking my ass started to pick up on them. Found out the law was changed to file children you'd have to have custody. So for years before this wasnt even in effect I let her file my children. Never getting anything in return. But I never said anything. When I got a notification to come to court I went and told them everything I wasn't or was gone do. In the end had the cards stacked against me. I didn't have a chance. Bring hated by my own who say they love me! So after I had La'Ryan they took him from me. Even the kids of mines who are the oldest was snatched from me. A year and a half later pregnant I decided to straighten up. The biggest mistake of my life! Trusting a system that wasn't never made for me. Going to rehab gave all the ammo needed to take me away from everything I knew and the ones who really love me! September 24th at 9 AM I had a C-section with my youngest son straight from rehab. They dropped me off and after all that went on which is a whole nother story was the reason I decided not to go back. But they called the social worker, said I had left. Two days later her she is. I was filled with anger. I knew this was going to be a game I would win. I'm not white. I'm not rich. I'm not married. I stayed in the hospital 8 days. They wanted to do everything they could to come up with a way to keep my newborn and they did. I never sat my baby down he stayed in the room, on my chest the whole time. Two days after my release I had court for them to tell me what I already knew. Not before the social worker submitted documents full of lies. Saying he stayed in N.I.C.U for seven days which was a flat out like. I did a drug test but of course I had narcotics in my system from the surgery. So yea, I would have narcotics in my system. I was left with supervised visits. They wanted me to go back to a program. I refused. I tried everything, even had a paid lawyer but nothing helped. After fighting 6 or so months I left it alone. I knew Id get my kids in the two year time frame you have to wait to get your kids back. Here I was, here I still am trying pull myself together without any help from the government. This has been one of the hardest things I've ever done in life. I didn't know, getting the assistance and housing is what got me buy. You either work like a slave to not need it or don't work at all. Even though with children that wasn't as simple as it sounded.
