Tattooed On My Heart

Chapter 20: Finding Freedom

**Two Weeks Later**

I wake up to my phone ringing on my nightstand.

"Hello?" I asked groggily.

"Aye, girl, you wanna catch a movie later?" Keenan's said from the other end of the line. I could tell he was with Vince because I could hear background noise; probably in Vince's room.

"I don't know," I said sighing, "it's too early to think."

"It's 9!" He said with a laugh.

"Yeah, 9 is too early," I said with a groan.

"You wanna come?" He said impatiently.

"Sure," I said sitting up.

"She comin?" I could hear Vince ask in the background.

"Yeah," Keenan said before returning his attention to me, "I'm bringin Sasha too; we'll all be at yo place at 2:30."

"We're taking my car?" I assumed out loud.

"Ain't like any of us have one," he said making me feel stupid.

"Okay," I said sighing, "are you sure you wanna bring Sasha?"

"Payson don't say shit about her right now."

"Whatever," I said hanging up the phone. I couldn't stand Sasha for a lot of reasons, but I had been putting up with her since a day after the funeral. Keenan needed someone to lean on (and sleep with) in order to move on, and she was that girl. She drove me crazy, though, so I had a hard time being okay with it. Her dad was a cop and her mom was a lawyer so she was very entitled. She acted as if she ran the world and no one could ever compare; I hated that. I figured she hadn't been through many hardships in her life, otherwise she'd be a little more humble.

I headed downstairs and made myself waffles for brunch. I took my time eating because I wasn't in a rush. My dad went to work at 8:00 everyday and my mom had an interview at 9:00, so I was home alone. I figured if my mom got the job, this would be the new normal for the rest of the summer. We were only in the second week of June, so it would be a lot of days home alone before school started. My mom only decided to get a job because she wanted to do something for herself and they decided that I was old enough to make my own choices about when I went out and who I went out with. I liked the freedom, but it made me realize that I was on my own now in a way and that meant a lot more responsibility. It got me wondering if freedom was really worth the time alone.

I thought about Cedar next; her mom was paying for her to have an apartment starting on Thursday. I was happy that she could have her own space when the baby came, but it made me think about her too; was the loneliness really worth the freedom?

Thinking about Cedar got me thinking about Blake. Vince was right; I was doing better with time. The further away from that night I got, the less I felt heartbreak when Blake came to mind and the more I felt like he was simply a wonderful part of my past that was gone too fast. I wondered if one day I would be able to think about him without getting choked up; I doubted it.

When I finished eating I ran back upstairs and saw Vince had texted me:

Vince ~ Will you stay over tonight?

I texted my parents and asked if they minded, which they didn't, before responding.

Me ~ Okay (: who's gonna be there?

Vince ~ Just us, moms working and Keenan's staying wit Sasha..

Me ~ Alright 😘

I got dressed slowly, not really matching my clothes very well. I had decided not to try very hard all summer because I didn't see many people; generally just Keenan, Vince and Cedar.