Agree to Disagree

six

Amelia West

February 14th - Freshman in College

I'm looking out the window, watching the Phillip's drive away.

That could not have gone any worse. I mean I don't know what I expected because we said we didn't want to speak to each other, except for Valentine's.

I don't know why I got my hopes up because we both made it clear that we don't want anything to do with each other. I mean he not only didn't speak to me, but he couldn't even look me in the eyes.

Okay... and now I'm crying.

Why does it always end with me crying?

It's just now hitting me, after a year of hoping that he comes to his senses, maybe he is not a good person. I mean, he said he loved me, but who is he to know what love is. I thought I "loved" him multiple times throughout the years, but what did we know? We were 17! But someone who loves does not plunge a knife so far into someone's back like he did. The things he said in that parking lot... it's a good thing that he is a dick. It makes it easier for me to hate him.

"Hey. Let's get out of here," Ash leans in and whispers in my ear, seeing that I have fresh tears on my cheeks. 

I turn away from the window viewing the front yard and ask, "Where would we go?"

"Keely's parents are on a vacation for their Valentine's anniversary, so she's throwing a party at her house."

I think about if I want to go. I kind of just want to curl up in my bed and lose all of my worries in sleep.

When sleep takes over, I don't have to worry about Cameron's feelings, my dad's thoughts, or any other pressures.

I'm free.

"And do what?" I say, wiping the stupid tears off my stupid face.

"Did you not hear me correctly? Keely's parents are out of town and she's throwing a Valentine's party! Come on! It will be fun!"

I think for a minute. I mean it would be nice to curl up in a blanket and read a book.

"I can tell you don't want to based on the face you are making, but it is going to be your birthday in a few hours. What better way to start the day? Come on! I'll let you get wasted. Shit faced. I'll drive."

That does sound nice. I want to forget this night even happened.

The solution is alcohol.

The next thing I know, I am dressed in a black, lacy tank with blue jeans and my signature white hightops and we are heading out the door, not even worrying about our parents who are fast asleep.

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Ashlynn and I have always been close.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like it because my father likes to pit us against each other, like pawns in his little game. I don't know if he means to, but it's always Ash versus Mia in his mind.

My sister and I have always looked after one another. I feel bad that I stopped checking in as often after I left for NYC, but every time I pick up the phone I tell myself everything's fine and never call.

We used to be close, especially when our parents used to fight.

All. The. Time.

Sometimes it felt like they would argue forever, and they still do, but they are better at hiding it. They want us to be the picture-perfect, white picket fence, family with fairy tale lives, and the two perfect daughters that grow up to be surgeons just like their parents. Training us since we could speak to be able to use a scalpel and wear a blue scrub cap.