Insanity kill's

This is the beginning...

I grab the ipod on the table next to my bed , and look for that app. Once I found it I did what he told me to set it all up. Once that was done I texted him and literally sat there for him to reply.

Chrissy: Hey zayn its chrissy

I got no reply that night, which was weird because he told me to text him. After about two hours of waiting I decided to go to bed.

I woke up to my door unlocking again and of course it’s Dr Night. “ Good Morning Christina, can you please get dressed and then come to my office so we can talk about some stuff.” I look at him and shake my head and then told him I will be there in a few minutes. He nods and quietly walks out of the room. I get out of the warm blankets into the cold room, and pull off my night clothes and slip on the clean pair of clothes that wear on the chair for me. After I got my shirt on over my head the Ipod zach gave me lights up.

Zayn: Goodmorning Beautiful sorry I did not reply last night I had a lot of homework  I had to do for school.

Chrissy: Good morning, I have to go though I have a session with Dr. Night

As I sent that I set it down and walk out the door, as I walk down the long white hall I stop in front of the pharmacy and take my medication and then continued to Dr. Nights office. Before I walked in I realized I did not have my journal so I walked back to my room  and grab it and then walked back to his office. When I walk in I see him sitting in his black swivel chair and I sit down on the couch across from him.  As I am sitting down I hand him my journal, He begins to read my entry and I can tell he is please with what I have written. “ Christina this is good, thank you for beginning to open up to me. If your ready we can start to talk about this or you can continue to write. Its up to you, These are two different techniques for therapy.” I sit there for a minute before I begin to talk. “ Dr. Night, I think we should do both,  I realized yesterday when my parents and zach came what I was missing, and they gave me the motivation to get better because I want to be able to go and see movies and celebrate my birthday actually doing fun things not sitting in a white room and alone. “  The look on his face was surprised and very happy. “ Well than Christina, what would you like to talk about today?” I was not expecting we were gonna jump right into this whole talking thing so I had no clue what to say… “ Umm well I dont know . Well wait  what do I have to do to get released from this place. Like how is that decided?”  I need to get out of here and actually live my life and if I cooperate maybe I will actually get too. Dr. Night looks at me and snickers a little before he began to talk. “ Well christina we will have a therapy session every day for a month and you will write in your journal every other day. Do this will hopefully help you to get to a happy place. Once I feel like you are mentally and emotionally able to handle the outside world and the stress and different things you will need to be able to do I will sign your release papers but you have to truly try other wise this will not work.”  I was surprised on how easy it is to get out of this place I agree to this and tell him I will fully cooperate with him because my time here is done.

 

I walked back to my room and began to write my next entry because I have a lot that is going through my head and this is better than any other option running through my head.

 

4/16/15

Entry 3:

So today is my birthday and I am 17 this year and I am done in this place I have a lot I am thinking about. most of what happened yesterday I saw my parents for the first time in three years and then there was zayn my best friend since kindergarden. He was there yesterday and his gift for my birthday was the best thing I could have ever asked for. I am actually listening to it right now He was so sweet and upload all the bands I love. I have missed this music so much I feel like me again. Also with his gift he gave me three cards one for each birthday I was here and he told me he loved me and told me things that I didn't think where possible. So I am ready to begin talking about what happened to me…

Freshman year I was very quiet around people I did not know but when I was around my friends or at least who I thought were my friends I was very out going until I was invited to this party on New Years eve.  It was the first party I have ever been too, and there were drugs and alcohol and me being curious and wondering what a high felt like and what being wasted felt like I began to test things out.  I Sat down on the Red couch next to these guys and he asked what drug I prefered and I just looked at him and told him I have never used . He Laughed and he asked if he could chose for me and I said sure and the drug he chose was coke. He made a short line and handed me a rolled piece of paper and showed me how to inhale the substance. After a while of that a joint was passed around to me and I took a hit off of it and began to feel everything and I was enjoying it and we all continued to smoke until we heard people counting down and shots of vodka was handed to all of us.  When we all got to the number one We all...

I was interrupted by a knocking on my door, I got up to open the door to find someone I never wanted to see ever again in my life.

 

As soon as I saw his face I slammed my door and sat against it, I began to get flash backs from those nights, and the things he did to me I will never get over. There is another knock at my door and I don’t answer I just stayed there sitting at the door. Moments later I hear a male voice talking. “ Christina you need to come out here and take your medication”  I began to freak out even more once I heard his voice which gave me the reassurance that it was him. How did he find me and even worse why is he working here now. I take the chair from my desk and put it underneath the door handle since I can’t lock my door. I take my Ipod and text zayn in hope he will call Dr.Night.

Chrissy: 911… He is here zayn I need you to call Night and tell him to come to my room AsAp and to tap on my door I need Him. Please get this soon.

Zayn: who is there Chrissy? Are you hurt ? Whats going on Chrissy ? I just called him he should be on his way to your room. Tell me what is going on please chrissy.