ROYALS

-5-

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| Can't believe season two is filming!!

I woke up feeling scared. And I woke up more insecure than ever.

Suddenly as I got up and looked in the mirror I felt a gasp of shame. I could see every little imperfection in the mirror that I wanted to change. I could see everything that could be better about me.

I could see all the reasons why Simon wouldn't want me. Why I wasn't enough for him. It scared made me want to fake sick and lay in bed all day. I wanted to be the best person I could for him.

So instead of feeling shameful, I swallowed my pride and got ready.

I avoided the questions of doubt that came into my mind, and focused on how I would go about my day. I focused on being myself.

As I exited my room to go to breakfast the air was cold. I took my steps one at time, trying my best to look authentically like a normal person who didn't have a care in the world.

As I turned into the breakfast hall I saw a group of familiar faces shoot me a smile, waving me to come over to them.

Peter was sipping his water when I sat down after quickly grabbing some items off the buffet. Felle was writing in a journal when I looked over to him, and right next to him was Antony following his words.

By the looks of it I would think he was writing down ideas for songs.

As Peter put down his water he looked up at me.

"So, how are you feeling after your big moment?" Peter says sarcastically.

"Don't even get me started, I didn't want to get out of bed this morning."

Peter frowned. "Anything I can do to help?" He asked truthfully.

"Maybe another band practice tonight, it gets my mind off things."

"Fuck man, Im sorry I can't tonight, how about tomorrow? I have a lot of homework that I haven't done and my mom keeps nagging me about it." Peter looked sad, he looked like he wanted to help.

"Sounds good." I smile, taking a pure of my food.

—

The day passed by fast, and left my wanting to do something other than homework.

It was then that I decided to do something impulsive, and probably stupid. I texted Simon.

Simon //

Want to maybe go to the band room and hang out. The other guys can't but I came up with a few songs we could sing. I'll be there in 30 if you want to come.

I was probably gonna regret this, but at the moment I didn't care. I needed something in my life to keep me going at this school.

I couldn't stand the constant voice of the students gossiping, the creaks in the floorboards, the couples holding hands and showing that they meant something to someone.

I got my jacket and began to walk to the bands room. I decided I was gonna get there early to set stuff up.

I had my sheet music with me, and a bottle of vodka. I wasn't going in unprepared.

—

Simon walked in with his hands in his pocket. I looked up from where I was sitting and stood facing him.

"I have a song picked out if that's okay?" I said, biting my nails with bad habit.

"Yeah, that's cool."

He takes off his jacket and puts it on the couch, coming to sit near me.

I pass him the sheet, brushing his hand in the process.