The one they desire (Haikyuu)

NOT A CHAPTER

OK so shit came up since feburary and i couldnt write that much sorry- but i got some of my assessment results back 

91% in bio

90& in chemistry

and 95% in physics but since i didn't write on here for a while i had to write for a competiton for school along the theme of across the barricade so imma add it to this chapter enjoy.

I'm not your typical flashy classmate who everyone wants to imitate and follow around... I'm the vulnerable and raw friend that wears her heart on her sleeve and encourages you to do the same. I'm the one you can rush to and cry on till your face is covered in snot... and I'll love you even more for being so honest and trusting. That's me. I enjoyed being myself. So I'm just going to take responsibility and forget it. I'm sensitive and thin-skinned, and I can see you without even trying... and I'm always nearby. The purity decorated your face and the soft petals of your heart and soul littered across you lightly dusted pink cheeks, I couldn't help but scrunch my face in the disgust of knowing I wasn't good enough for that, I wasn't them I wasn't the enthusiastic student who loved those around the school. The words they spoke were filled with well intended innocence that triggered an unintentional reaction in me. The words they spoke so calmly scared me, the words that calmed me scared them. Are we blind to each other's good hearts to the point where we build barricades instead of bridges, walls instead of doorways and fences instead of gates.

Was it out of scepticism or the unspoken truth that I was scared? I didn't mean to do it but they were testing me to the point where I couldn't hold back. Yes, I didn't have the right to cross the mental barricade set out by those who have made and relied on the rules as if that was the law. They made it so challenging but so easy to break, it is so easy to break those delicate humanoid bodies who pose a threat to me crossing the mental barricade of the "law". Those sworn to protect us only use it as an excuse to surround us with barricades so easily able to be crossed.

Their flawless smile and perfectly shaped white teeth sent a toothy grin in my general direction, out of what I had been taught I hid my face in my manga book not noticing the increased heart rate and the flowering of a rose blush that danced across my face, something real bloomed into my heart, it was warm and swelled so beautifully there. I reclaimed my normal thoughts and shook my head shaking away the dancers of red that laid on my cheeks. What was I thinking? I glanced my eyes in their direction. There was a softness to their appearance, their smooth skin reflected the dappled light that was allowed entry into the room, the golden rays shone into their eyes, reflecting the marriage of warm honey hues and deep caramel which was called the colour of hazel. Little spots of extra pigment under the skin represented freckles across their cheeks, Their hair was the brown of aged mahogany, rich and deep, yet with the subtle hues only time brings.

Was it out of curiosity or temptation that I was noticing these details? Either way I wanted to know them to escape the barricade of normalities we are trapped in. To get close to them to be able to get to talk to them without stuttering. Yes the law is a barricade placed to control and keep us safe but to break it and get what I want entices me so much I can't hold back the immense amount of happiness it gives me. I graced my features with a devilish grin and held a huge gleam in my eyes, decorating the normal hue of spring growth to be tainted into a dark heavens inspired colour. My heart race increased and the unnatural blush came back, crossing it tastes so sweet.

They raised their hand to answer a question; I copied. The excitement bubbled upwards in my stomach slowly growing, I have never done this before but I needed to show them I'm the only one they need. I needed them to know they only need me and no one else. I was accepted to answer the question, I smirked and answered correctly taking quick and short glances at them on the other side of the classroom. They gave me a huge wide spread grin that any normal person would have returned that toothy grin like wildfire. I couldn't I froze and I wish I didn't blush so fast and had the ability to get those wretched emotions inside my breaking body. I replayed through my thoughts again, Trust. I needed to get their trust.

The joy spreads like a virus. It starts as a tingling sensation in my fingers and toes, similar to how I feel when I'm stressed, but instead of being alarming, it's warm. Like a warm ocean wave, I feel it sweep through me. Gulping back the feeling of backing out I waited for them to be alone, for them to be vulnerable and away from the others. That barricade of fear won't stop me from talking to them; not anymore. I try to push down the anxiety that sits below my small suppressed smile, it sat under my actions.

Was I dreading doing this? I need to take the hand of dread and converse a peace treaty where I wont have these feelings around them. But it doesn't happen, it grabs me by the tongue and dries up my mouth. I panic but I don't want to. I've done this before every single time but it never changes. It slowly climbs up my head and bares its teeth wrapping around my skull and letting cracks flourish in my self esteem and grabs the anxiety by force and forces it to swirl and expand those cracks. Irreversible cracks. Another boundary that tries to replenish my thoughts to something else. Why me?

I shove it all down and picture their face, their perfect features. Their eyes, smile, freckles, dainty blush that always surrounds their cheeks and the perfectly styled hair that danced in the wind creating new patterns and dances every time a breeze came by. Taking a final deep breath and plastering a medium sized smile on my face that showed my slightly yellow teeth and made small dimples appear but I didn't mind this was me.

My fingers tingles as I got closer to them, they were waving goodbye to their "friends", I ever so carefully touched their shoulder which sent a spark in my fingers and made the violent dancers of blush appear on my face again, I lifted my hand and touched my cheek before taking a shaky breathe and saying "Hi..." They turned to face me with a huge grin replying back to my comment with the same response the same violent blush littered their cheeks as it did mine. "I'm sorry" I whispered before raising my hand and swiping them on the neck, effectively hitting the weak point, knocking them out. A wide grin spread across my face and I bit my lip as I caught them "your mine!" I spoke normally, finally getting what I want and leaving the barricade of the law and morals behind me.

What had I just done? It feels amazing...

=================================================================================

yes i wrote this for school so it isnt the best but i might get chaoters out soon for this and my new book and im so sorry for taking forever to post but i need to please my family otherwise i will have to delete my books and won't be aloud on my phone or laptop to write.