pov mikey way tries to sell you escalators

The story

My friend used to tell me all these crazy stories about their life. Most were so crazy I couldn't tell if they were fact or fiction. Like the one about the time that they went to a store in New Jersey, where a man in a Joy Divison shirt and with a jawline that looked so sharp that if you touched it it would slit your finger tried to sell them some inaccessible escalators. Of course, they declined. Why the hell would she need that? But, then the man threatened that if she didn't buy his inaccessible escalators he would force her to become the bassist in an American rock band. Now, they were actually quite intrigued by this threat as she was very passionate about music. She said "That doesn't sound half bad."and he said, "Do you have a brother?" A look of confusion struck her face. "Yes I do, why are you asking?" "No you don't. That's what you think but you don't." Was this man with unnaturally thick glasses really trying to gaslighting me into thinking I don't have a brother? "Well then, Michael James Way, the lead singer of Joy Divison is alive." He stared at you. "How rude. How do you know my name?" "Because it's on your nametag. Well I'm going to leave now. I don't like gaslighters with sharp jawlines." He seemed to be at a loss of words. "Wait. I have an offer." I turned around, wondering what he could want now. To gaslight me into thinking I don't have a mother, or to sell me broken vacuums? "I'll pass." "Did I tell you that the escalators give you super speed?" "Okay bye." I said, and i walked out of the store. How strange.