i feel alive la siene en moi

✉prologue✉

"am I good enough?"

a tall slim brunette rushes down the pavement sidewalk with a younger blonde boy trailing behind him, trying to maintain the same speed at the fast brunette. yet the blonde boy failed to keep up with his older brother Wilbur, since Wilbur was faster and older he had a large advantage or so the blonde thought in his mind. as Wilbur came closer to the end of the street he noticed that a car was baking out of its drive way to leave to its next destination. in Wilbur's mind this seemed like no problem at all but of course he was wrong because I mean he was only nine years old and nine year old's dont always have the brightest minds. Wilbur's blonde younger brother, tommy, even though he was younger by five years, he new this wasn't going to end well. so while Wilbur held his grip firm on the candy bar rapper he had contained, he began sprinting so he could make it past the car safely. tommy screamed out for Wilbur as he ran after the older boy but Wilbur didn't listen.

he braced himself and leaped forward. next all of he could remember was darkness and then pain, lots of pain. the sharpness in his chest and his knees. the feeling like it would last forever and as if he had been burnt to a crisp right there, wherever he was. but that wasn't the case. it turns out Wilbur had been hit by that car on that fateful day. he remembers his younger brothers screams and yelling for his father phil. then hearing his twin brother techno cry and cry thinking Wilbur had passed away from his sever injuries but no. Wilbur had survived.

he had gone through a lot of pain and trauma to still be here, but none the less he was alive and well, well actually well psychically. soon after the recovery of the crash Wilbur had been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorder only ruining his life forever. sure it wasn't the biggest crash ever but Wilbur was a nine year old and the car was a massive van. there was a strong possibility that Wilbur could of died. but here he is again, not dead. not yet.

Wilbur had just turned eleven when he decided to ask his father, philza Minecraft, if he could get a guitar for Christmas or his birthday or any occasion really, he just really wanted a guitar. he had asked the year before but his dad had stated that they simply couldn't afford that at the moment but he promised next time, and it was next time.

so Wilbur walked around his wooden two story home in search of his father, an when he had found him drinking coffee at the kitchen table he decided to suck it up and ask.

"dad" Wilbur asked softly, tugging on philzas sleeve catching the blonde mans attention. philza smiled weakly and nodded.

"yes son?, what is it you need" 

"well i was wondering if maybe...uhm w-well" Wilbur tried to gather himself, so he fiddled with his sleeve of his yellow sweater instead.

"yes come on spit it out, nobody has all day" philza seemed to chuckle, but it still felt serious.

"can you buy me a guitar?.."

philza sighed and placed down his coffee onto the kitchen table without a coaster. he placed his two hands on each side of Wilbur's shoulders and smiled with a sad expression behind the smile.

"look son, I'm sorry we dont have the money, maybe next year? "philza didn't like disappointing his sons, especially wilbur since what the poor kid has been through, yet money was tight and sometimes you have to disappoint.

wilbur felt tears prick at his eyes and he looked down at the carpeted floor. he grabbed the end of his sweater to calm himself before he could muster a word. the nice smell of cinnamon and lemon filled the air as well as slight steam from somewhere in the mits of the kitchen. this didn't help wilbur concentrate on what he wanted but he managed to let a few mumbled words out before the big "speech".

"but thats what you said LAST year and the year before!!" Wilbur felt himself poor his worries and anger out at philza to deal with because at least maybe he would care even a bit.

"WILBUR SHUT UP" 

the pain in wilburs cheek burned from the cold slap of the man he thought was his father, he knew was his father but now was a terrifying being from beyond wilburs nightmares.

wilbur softly let the tears run down his face and stream down onto his soft yellow sweater, wilbur didn't want to be here, he wanted to be safe so he quickly grasped his sweater sleeves tight and pushed himself out of the kitchen of the house and rushing up the flight of stairs leading to his and his brothers bedrooms as quick as he could, probably to cry himself to sleep for the rest of the night. wilbur sniffled out a few mumbles under the covers of his warm bed.

"am I good enough?"