Cut, copy, paste. I have no intent of plagiarizing or whatsoever, this notes I've compiled into my phone and haven't read or written yet since I spent lots of time on wpad I decided to keep them here and pay attention once I realized I need to read...
The book provides an accessible overview of the psychology concepts of Alfred Adler - a psychologist from the 19th century. The two authors wanted to make 'Adlerian' psychology more accessible and is written as a dialogue through a conversation between a youth and a philosopher.
"If I stay in my room all the time, my parents will be worried about me."
Here are 3 lessons this book teaches:
1. It's dangerous to believe that your past determines your future.
2. If you focus on what's wrong with you, you might be looking for reasons to hate yourself on purpose.
3. Most of what we think of as competition is just made up and hurting our happiness.
The Philosopher in the book explains that if you are disliked by someone, it is proof that you are living in freedom, a clear sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.
If you're doing what you're doing in life to be liked and avoid being disliked, then you're not living in freedom. But if you're able to do things you believe in (no matter what other people think about you) and provided you're able to contribute to others, then you could say that you have the courage to be disliked. You are living your life in total freedom.
"The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked - when you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change int things of lightness".
You're not living to satisfy other people's expectations, and other people aren't living to satisfy your expectations.
Don't think in terms of "What will this person give me?" But rather, "What can I give to this person?"
When one can feel "I am beneficial to the community," then you can have a true sense of one's worth. The feeling that I am of use to someone.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Book summary of
The Courage to Be Disliked
Book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.
Summary by Ali Salah
This book shows you how to change your life and achieve real happiness.
You can change any time. You just choose not to.
If you think that your past determines your present, you end up with determinism; your future has already been decided by your past. In "Adlerian psychology", we don't think about past causes, but rather about present goals. Your past doesn't determine your present, but rather it is the meaning that you attribute to your past.
You are unable to change only because you are making the decision not to. You probably think it's easier to leave things as they are. If you stay like this, you can respond to events as they occur, and you can guess the results. It's like driving your old but familiar car. It might rattle a bit, but you can take that into account and maneuver easily. But if you choose a new lifestyle, no one can predict what might happen to your new self or have any idea how to deal with events as they arise. It will be hard to see ahead to the future, and your life might be painful and filled with anxiety. So you choose not to change.
