Cardinal, Forever and Always

three

Dear Cardinal,

I know keeping all of these letters looseleaf in a notebook is a bad idea, but I can't think of anything better. It's hidden in my locker, behind the pile of binders and folders cluttering the space. No one knows it's there.

No one cares, probably.

Today I saw your old friend from middle school. Victoria, I think? I remember how much she hated me. You never stood up to her, which I guess is okay since you were friends.

There was that one time when she pushed me into you, thinking you would suddenly catch feelings for me. Somehow she knew that I had a crush on you and wanted so desperately for us to become an item.

I did too. But you didn't. And I would rather stay friends that lose you if you found out.

It's been too long since I've talked to you. Why can't I talk to you? I've definitely thought about it. Seeing you in the halls, all alone, and I haven't just walked up or said something as simple as a hello. Why is a simple word so hard to say?

Because I love you, and you hate me, that's why.

For three years I've loved you and you've hated me. Three years is a long time. A whole bunch of things can happen in three years. For instance, Yelena got married to her girlfriend (who is now her wife). I was a bridesmaid. It was fun, but it would've been better if you were there as my plus-one. Maybe as my girlfriend.

What's happened to you these past years? I wouldn't know. We should get together sometime, and catch up on the last three years.

We're graduating soon. I remember how you longed to be an animation major. Do you still want that? You're an amazing artist. You could animate for Pixar or something.

I love your art almost as much as I love you, Cardinal. I even love your name.

Forever and always,

Jade

(P.S. sorry this letter is a bit short, I ran out of paper!)