[MODERN AU] Gorou and Y/n have been competing in pretty much everything for the majority of their lives, hating each other to the very core. And immediately once their sophomore year starts, Y/n finds a new competition for them: Getting a lead role...
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V. KOKOMI
(ᴛᴡ: ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱ*ɪᴄɪᴅᴇ)
Sangonomiya Kokomi used to rely on the internet and the people she met, who came from all around the world. She thought it nice to speak with people from all different backgrounds. Plus, they had similar interests to her. With everyone in her physical life draining all of her energy, the virtual world was a good place to relax and get away from her stressors.
She was twelve years old when she discovered an online chatroom for one of the shows she used to watch. At first, it was simple conversating and talking of everyone's hobbies, but eventually, it turned to deeper friendships than any of them expected, especially Kokomi. She'd found a group of over 20 people who were like her family when her true parents couldn't fill the role.
They made her laugh more than she ever had before, and she felt wholeheartedly accepted with them. They were everything to her, but no one else knew about them. Her parents would've killed her if they found out she was talking to strangers on the internet and giving out her personal information.
They were her only other source of happiness, aside from Gorou.
When Gorou talked about your confession, she wasn't sure what to think. Of course, she wanted to be happy for one of her closest friends, but she somehow couldn't manage it. Instead, she was jealous. She thought she might've had a chance with him before that, and she was actually planning to tell him how she felt, but when he smiled at the thought of you, she knew her shot was long gone.
She decided to stay quiet, but it was so hard when he was gushing about you. She wasn't the type to be rude, but all she wanted was for him to shut up. She didn't know unrequited love would hurt so much.
Her feelings were just a crush at first, starting at the age of thirteen. She thought it would've gone away eventually, but it didn't. For three years, she'd been in love with Gorou. Then, out of nowhere, you became friends with him and in a few weeks, you managed to make him swoon more than Kokomi ever did. She couldn't say she blamed him. She figured he finally found out what your true personality was when you weren't insulting him, and with how amazing you were, she barely stood a chance. Well, that was how she viewed it, anyway.
Still, she wondered what would've happened if she told him first.
When she returned home later that afternoon, she scrolled through her phone and saw hundreds of screenshots she took from the chatroom she used to be part of. She had an entire folder, and in it were 700 pictures.
It was chaotic; she was actually one of the only sane people there, but it was nice. None of them seemed perfect, so she didn't feel the need to be either. She started scrolling through the photos as she laid with her stomach down on her bed.
"Wow..." She mumbled, recalling interactions that she'd completely forgotten about.
Unfortunately, at a certain point, she became the person everyone went to for advice. She was always logical and caring about most things, so she was the perfect person to dump their trauma onto. They may not have realized they were doing it, but being online started taking more energy out of her than being in the real world.
She learned everything about everyone. Though they were fun to talk with, they were all mentally unstable. They threatened to do things that they could never take back, and Kokomi would've felt at fault for all of it, so she took care of everyone.
Her breaking point was when one of those friends called her, sobbing.
"Hello?"
"Kokomi, I need help!" They cried.
"W-What? What's wrong?!" Kokomi exclaimed, her panic setting in immediately as she sat up in bed.
"I can't do this anymore! I got into a really bad fight with my parents, and I can't- I'm afraid I'll do something!"
"H-Hold on, just try taking deep breaths," she said hastily, tapping her fingers on her thigh repeatedly because of the anxiety growing in her chest.
"I can't!"
"I don't know how to help, I-"
"I seriously need you right now, please just do something!" They wailed.
"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked, biting her lip as the tears gathered in her eyes.
"I c-can't speak-" They replied, sucking in a breath so harshly that they sounded like they swallowed their own lung.
"Please call the suicide hotline, I don't think I can-"
"No! I-If you can't help, then I'll just-"
Beep.
They hung up.
"Hello!?" She gasped, pulling the phone away from her ear and looking at it. The call only lasted over a minute.
She thought of all the things they could've done to themselves, or planned to do, and she started hyperventilating. She dropped the phone and it clattered against the floor. The tears slid past her eyes and down her cheeks as she grabbed her hair. Using her legs, she pushed herself against the headboard on her bed and let her thoughts overtake her.
'What if they're gone? What if they hurt themselves? Why couldn't I do anything? I'm so useless, what's the point of being here if I can't even help a friend in need?!'
"No, no, no..." She whimpered, her lip quivering as she spoke. "They're fine, they're fine, they're fine..."
She rarely ever broke down, but all the parts in the machine she called her mind were misaligned and rusty. She couldn't stop herself from letting out audible cries, begging for someone to hear and help her. Her machine was broken; she was broken. It felt as though her mind was already bruised relentlessly, and that was the last hit that finally threw it in different directions. She couldn't think, or form any thoughts because all of her thoughts were overwhelming her at once.
She sobbed for an hour after that, hugging herself as she calmed down and found herself able to breathe, but that didn't mean her thoughts were any less horrible. She wanted to be thankful for the life she was given, but in that moment, all she wished was for it to end.
Now calm, she checked her notifications one last time after constantly looking at them to see if her friend had responded to any of her messages. They did, so she immediately clicked on it, feeling an ocean of relief drown her. It was a welcomed sensation until she saw what the text actually read.
'Sorry about that lol. I'm ok now, you can just forget that ever happened. I didn't mean to scare you'
"Just... forget about it...?"
The next day, Kokomi was still quite shaken, so she called Gorou and asked him to visit her for a while. He did, and as she cried into his chest, she realized her feelings about him. How being around him always made her feel so comforted, how his voice (especially his laugh) gave her butterflies, how she longed to close the distance between them... She recognized it all.
He was the only person she told about the incident, or about the chatroom. And after that, she left it behind for good.
