Chapter 1- Meet Sarah

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I woke up in my old bed. Ive been living here in this old run down adoption center for as long as I could remember. My parents were in a tragic accident when I was about 5. That was 12 years ago, and i don't remember shit. I didn't know much but what i heard from other family they weren't good parents.

" Good Morning girls.. get your ass up! We have people coming to see you brats the 10th! I want this place spotless and your rooms spotless. "

The mean old adoption center lady, Clarice, yelled to me and my roommates. I pushed aside my bangs that had been dyed more times then a healthy amount and looked for my phone so i could see the time. only 6:32 am. God chores are gonna take so long if Clarice woke us up this early. We all eventually dragged ourselves out of bed and started on our chores. They always took so long because no one else ever did anything. It was just me and Lily. Lily is my roommate and has been since i moved in here. She's a year younger than me but she's basically my sister. We tell each other everything and she's my best friend. Once i finished with the enormous chore list it was 11 am. I ate some breakfast and headed back to my room. I opened up my old laptop that barely works and sat down on my terribly uncomfortable bed. Pretty sure i have back problems from it, and checked twitter. No new tweets from Dan or Phil which was not surprising. They never tweeted often anymore.. they're probably just busy. I went onto youtube and watched some videos on my recommendation. The occasional cat video, dan and phil, music, or some completely random thing i've never heard of. I didn't know what to do today seeming as i didn't really have anything else to do. I knew one thing I had to do was hide some of my.. personal things with the slight chance I get adopted, but it wouldn't happen. I've been here for 12 years.. since I was 5 I've given up hope.

" Lily! Do you want to go to the park? "

I called out to Lily. She jumped out from her bed and grabbed her coat. I grabbed my phone, hoodie, earbuds, and headed out the door. It was a short walk to the nearby park. The park wasn't much of a park, it had a swing set and a slide and some big field people always leaved their dog crap in ( Ive stepped in it multiple times sadly ). I hung out with Lily just talking for a bit, about the same old life we had. watching kids and family's come and go. making me wish i had a family of my own. It started to get dark so we walked and got some ice cream nearby, without Clarice knowing. ( We would get grounded ). then headed home. It was dinner already. Ice cream before dinner didn't go to well. My stomach was in knots all night, I hated myself. I always have. I puked it all up. I didn't even want to, I used to in the past but i was over that. It all hurt.

While out with Lily I had gotten a new notebook. it was going to be my new diary. I started with a intro page.
" Hey, im Sarah. This is my diary.
Name: Sarah Lea
Age: 17 as of starting this diary
Birthday: 3/17/2000
I LOVE dan and phil. they're my whole life. i hate the orphanage i live at.
If you're reading this please go away. im sorry but even you Lily. "

And with a sign i began the daily entry.
" 3/2/2017. my birthdays in 15 days. another year in this adoption center. at this point i'm just waiting till im 18 to pack up my things and go. Hell if only Clarice let me get a job i could be gone by now. But oh well. Today clarice had us clean the entire orphanage and after that she didn't give up breakfast till 12. i think this should be considered child abuse. i watched some youtube and than went to the park with my Bff 4 eva Lily. some stupid boys pointed out my scars which really hurt. Im sad spring break is almost over. I go back 3/7 .. 10 days before my birthday. i haven't done any homework. i should get on that. oh well time to fall asleep crying. maybe one day i'll have a mom or dad to come in and tell me it'll all be okay. - Love sarah "

Before i knew it the first day back at school came.
I got up bright and early at 6:15 am and put on my My Chemical Romance t-shirt and a skirt with some knee high socks. That and my hair is probably the exact reason i never get adopted and bullied at school. I threw my hoodie over since it's always cold in the mornings. and to hide my arms. I looked at my phone screen before leaving my room. It was a picture of Dan and Phil from their most recent video together. They meant a lot to me and i dont know where i'd be without them. I put a smile on my face and walked with the other girls going to high school. We rode the public bus that was a 15 minute walk away. why did this stupid orphanage have to be so far away? I eventually made it to school after listening to some fine music aka panic at the disco. Brendan for life. I got on the bus, and started on the last on my homework. Lily had convinced me to finish it so i don't fail my senior year. I made it to school with enough time to get my favorite spot in the back of the class.

I walked in the halls and was greeted with my high school long bully. Jacob. He slammed me into the lockers. Pain instantly rising in my back.

" Welcome back loser. Slit your wrists any more over break? "

Jacob and his friends pulled up my sleeves and saw the new ish marks. I was trying so hard to not do it but everything was so hard. He slapped them hard. A year jesrking pain came out of it. I couldn't take it anymore and collapsed and cried.

" Wow what a loser. Cmon boys let's get her. "

They took no time wasting their chance to get
me. They kicked me and punched me. Stomped on my hand. They had enough when they saw my face bleeding and my arm purple. They walked away leaving me on the floor. The school didn't care. No one noticed. I eventually had to get up and go to close.

And that is my life. Every day it repeats. And it never ends. I went home that day, Lily cares at least. She tried so hard to stop them but they just beat her up.

" Oh, Sarah did they get you? Sit down i got this. "
She pulled out her first aid kid and healed me all up. I winced as she laid me down in bed.

3 days till i found out if i can finally leave this place.

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