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[ ] New year new routine new session;
I walked in the class similar faces but not familiar. I with abstract face entering the class, students became very quiet.
They were tensed about the reactions of the teacher.
All were in the class except two eloped characters. We both were toiling to be normal.
But by nature ,I don't know to cool myself quickly.
Still in the nature.
This was there because of many reasons.
First of all
I lost all the faith because I believed these students blindly.
They played a great hide and seek game ignoring the serious consequences of the world.
Second part,
All the blames were on me..
One scarscastic statement given by the collegue " the students should be controlled by the class teacher and if she doesn't care the teenagers will elope .".
With such question mark on my back
I was inside the class.
I could not understand my temperament while teaching them.
Few students took time but adjusted.
Some ignored my lessons others didn't care.
Because of least interactions ,the class became boring and that affected everyone
Bunny hated me like anything.
He never took interest in my subjects but his hatred increasd day by day ,months after months.
I always tried my best to pull him towards the subject.
But it is said that once in mind that hatred will never be cleared in his life time.
According to him, I purposely failed him.
He could not understand what I taught in the class.
What conspiracy kept revolving inside him
I could not find till date.
I had to follow the instructions given by the authority.
I was a big bang theory played by everyone who wanted.
Whatever tried but he never passed in my subjects.
He was very good in English and arts .
Mam was impressed by him.
Her raised eyes 👀 was always on me .
Enquires were taken .
Faults were in me and my ways.
During his pre board He failed .
He hated it so much because he was totally involved in extra activity engaged in fancy attire with his classmate.
But faulty measurements in the teacher and her subjects.
The ridges became so wide that till date, reality is not clear.
So last date ,I scolded and warned him about his career.
He got furious and in anger thrown his progress report within the campus and went off.
Today I feel that the psychology of the child swings and revolves that difficult to cope the strands of the swings.
That state of mind still blowing in his mind. Till now he couldn't get out of that reality. When ever he gets a chance, he pours out his anxiety towards me directly or indirectly through the social media.
Today I still think that 🤔 where I went wrong.
Should I have improved my steps of tackling his temperament?.
Do I need some medical / psychological course to handle such students.
But at last I feel that I am a big failure and trying to get some remedies for my deeds in the future.
But still
Where I went wrong.
