me & mr.jones // [c.g]

8.

renée's pov

"hey jelly bean you're gonna have to start getting up. the reservations are soon" mom rubs my shoulder getting me to wake up slowly. "i'm tired" i mumble and conan moves a little "i think he heard your voice, i'll leave ya be but you gotta start waking up" mom chuckles "okay" i reply and she exits the room while conan shuffles around. "ren?" he mumbles "yeah co" i giggle. he notices his hands aren't on my stomach anymore so he puts them back. "co we gotta start moving it's 4:20" i say "we have 30 minutes" he grumbles "we have to get dressed and i need to shower" i tell him and he brings his arms around my body pulling me up more "coco seriously we gotta get moving" i tell him "but you don't need a shower" he says "my hair smells like the ocean right now darling" i giggle. he turns me over so my face is facing his and i sit up between his legs "c'mon" i pull him up and he gets up slowly.

"you're lucky i love you" he smiles and kisses me softly "i'm lucky to have you" i reply and he grins kissing me again.

i get up out of bed and turn the lights on causing conan to squint. i laugh at the sight while i grab my towel. "i wanna shower" conan says "do you want to take one before or after me?" i ask as i put the towel on my bathroom counter "with you" he replies and i blush with a laugh. "my parents are home darling" i reply "so?" he says against my comforter "because i know what you're gonna do" i laugh placing a kiss on his forehead "i wont" he replies. i take a deep breath and look at his hopeful eyes, "you don't wanna?" he asks and i just stand there looking for words "no i do but i don't wanna do anything. i just want hugs" i reply "i can give hugs" he says "i know that" i go back over to my bed putting my hand on his cheek.

"i'm gonna take my shower, okay?" i decide and he nods "i love you" he says "i love you too darling" i nod.

"make sure you start getting up" i say as i walk into the bathroom.

i turn the shower on and get it hot because i like the feeling now. i hop in and i want to hurt myself badly because i didn't let conan come in with me. i should've.

i fumble for my razor and pop the blade out. i sit down on the shower floor and cut my wrists slowly. i squeeze my eyes shut as i start silently sobbing.

the guy from earlier, my fault. i shouldn't have worn that jacket. it's stupid.

"fuck" i say under my breath as i see the blood covering my shower floor. i take a deep breath and get up quickly washing away the blood on the floor and the blood on my wrists.

i wash myself quick trying to ignore my wrists. "love bug can i brush my teeth quick" conan knocks "yeah" i reply covering my shakey voice. "sorry i was being an ass" he says while brushing his teeth "no you were not" i shake my head with a laugh "i was bugging you about showering" he says "it's okay darling" i smile to myself.

i clean my wrists back up and they stop bleeding. "can you hand me my towel" i ask and he hands me it without looking causing me to giggle to myself. i wrap myself in the towel and step out of the shower, i kiss his lips softly and he smiles against mine. "i love you, okay?" i say and he nods "say no or okay coco. give me words to work with" i put my hand on his cheek looking up at him "okay" he grins at me.

"nothings gonna change that, darling" i add "i love you" he replies "wait" conan says and i hum. he looks back down and sees my wrists, the shock that washes me over makes me nauseous. "b-baby" he says with tears brimming his eyes, i didn't know it hurt him this much. oh my god. i can't find words at the second, he holds my arm in his softly looking at the cuts. "w-why? what h-happened?" he looks at me so sad and i'm shocked. i honestly didn't know it hurt him this much. "i-" i try to find words but i cant "i-i didn't know it h-hurt you this m-much" tears start falling from my eyes. "but it does, ren, it sucks" he hugs me tight. "i'm sorry, i-i didn't know what to do." i start to cry into his shoulder "baby, i love you so much and you're the strongest person i've ever met. but you were doing so good" he holds me softly "i know-i know that. i couldn't do it" i mumble. he kisses my forehead softly and i feel super fucking bad.

"knock knock" i hear our friend group knock on my bedroom door. i laugh knowing they'll see the sight of me in a towel and conan standing with me if they walk in. "yeah one minute!" i reply. i grab my clothes getting changed quick "i'll tell them later just not yet" i say to conan who nods.

i have conan's clothes on from before since they don't smell like the ocean and go out of the bathroom seeing our friends. their all dressed up casually like conan and i, "you all look fabulous i must say" mom and dad walk in. i look over at conan and he grins looking at his clothes on me. "or how dad would say it, ooooh y'all looking fly" awsten says in my dads voice.

they all call my mom, mom, and my dad, dad. they are practically family.

"ouch awst, ouch" dad shakes his head causing awsten to grin. "c'mon we gotta get going" mom tells us, i grab my phone and keys before walking out "there's 8 of us guys and only 7 seats in moms car" dylan says "i'll sit on the floor it's fine" i shrug "it's not like we haven't done it before" ashley laughs.

i lock the front door behind us and we get into moms soccer mom van as we call it. i sit down on the floor in between the two seats in the middle.

after about 20 minutes we've made it to the restaurant and we all pile out of the car. "you're a klutz" i say as i grab the back of conan's shirt because he's tripped up the stairs to the restaurant. everyone laughs. then, we go inside and get seated at a large table where conan's parents and aunts and uncles are sat waiting for us.