𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

fight for me- matt

Matt was confused by the cryptic message he had received from Foggy, simple instructions begging him to go to your place to check on you. Foggy wasn't one to depend on anyone else to take care of his family, even if the family member in question wasn't quite fond of letting anyone take care of them, to begin with. It was no secret that there was something between you and Matt, had been since their college days, but neither of you knew how to act on it, or what it was. Every now and then you'd find yourself cuddled in his arms, longing for him, him longing for you, it had always been a mere build-up of fleeting moments that never became more. But he never stopped acting like it did, he'd carry you on his hands if you let him, settling instead for little gestures of love he hoped would go unnoticed by your stubborn heart, and most of them did- by you, but not by Foggy. Which is why he sent Matt to you, knowing that if you were to surrender your heart to anyone, it would only be him.

"Over here," you all but whispered as you heard the door shut, needing no signs at all to know who was crawling into your presence and you hid a small sigh of relief as he stilled on the roof behind you, keeping his distance for now, as always. Listening for clues, taking note of the speed at which your heart hummed in your chest, deciphering whether the soft sniffs were due to the cold or because you'd been crying, even hearing the normally soundless movements of your hands moving across your arms in search of warmth. There was something wrong, he knew that much, but your body wasn't telling him what it was.

"Y/n,"" he began, and you swallowed, nearly giving in to your emotions but successfully pushing them down once again, you'd developed that skill so well, might as well put it to good use for a few minutes more.

"I know he sent you, Matty," you breathed and that was your first slip, unconsciously making it clear to Matt that Foggy's concern was warranted and his own was growing with rightful prompt. "I'm grateful that he did because I've been looking at your number on my screen since last month, begging myself to call, begging myself to give in."

"Give in?" Matt repeated and you nodded, eyes still sauntering over the buildings around you as you acknowledged every sound of the city. He took calculated steps towards you, not wanting to rush you, not wanting to crowd you, but he was quite quickly beginning to lose his mind at the idea of something being wrong that he might not have the power to fix. "Give in to what, sweetheart?"

"To you. To myself," you admitted with tired eyes fleeing to meet his, frowning when the meadows of hazel were hidden behind reflections of red glasses. "I don't know how to be weak in front of the people I love, how to show them that I'm struggling, that I'm drowning," you sighed, being the one to take a step forward as Matt tilted his head to listen to you, choosing not to look too far into the mentions of love just yet. "I've been so hung up on staying in control that I only now realize that I haven't been in control for years."

"What do you mean?" he knitted his brows together as you reached out to carefully rid him of the silver frames, heart skipping a grateful beat when you got to see him, all of him, glasses stuffed into his blazer's pocket before you continued. "I need a little more than that, baby, need to know how I can help you," Matt noted, and you closed your eyes at the tone, at the care, how odd to finally hear it in his voice, so clear and unwavering.

You'd been no fool to the fact that you were in love with your brother's best friend, and you'd not dare ignore that he felt the very same. But it felt selfish. You were struggling, had been for so long, you'd learned how to cope, how to force yourself up from the concrete and wipe the sand from the bloodied bruises before doing it all over again, but you were tired. Somewhere in the frenzy of trying to keep going, no matter what, you'd lost yourself- lost your control, lost your mind. How could you let Matt into that madness? How could you turn to him after all he'd been through, all that he's still going through? You had no right to the pain that you felt, to the fear and the torture inflicted on you by your own mind- you had it good, many people had it much worse, but it never felt so, never felt like you had a moment of peace, of happiness. You woke up every day with a sword in your hand and an army in front of you and you fought, without objection, you fought them. You took the blows and the cuts and the bodies that forced you into your grave alive- but only when you looked up and saw your own face behind their armour did you realize how far you'd gone, how far you'd allowed yourself to go, and you couldn't go on like this any longer. You were losing yourself and as terrifying as it was to admit that out loud, it was far more terrifying looking into the mirror and seeing a stranger. You'd been fighting yourself by yourself and it would destroy you if you didn't call out for help.

"I can't cope with everything on my own anymore, Matty," you began with a shaky breath, considering backing out, considering back-peddling back into your shadows to fight the soldiers all alone, but Matt knew you, knew that you were sweating, nervous, anxious. He'd grown accustomed to your body running on high and he noticed now, more than ever, that he couldn't remember the last time your words were in agreement with your heart, not until now. You were reaching out, you were surrendering your sword and he couldn't be prouder, couldn't be happier. You were choosing to be weak in order for him to help you be strong. "I know it's selfish. I know I shouldn't be asking you- putting this on you- but I can't keep fighting, Matty, I don't have the strength to go on like this- don't have the will-" you gasped, hearing the words made it real, he could hear your pain, hear your weakness, he heard what you'd been hiding for years- he could hear that you needed someone when all your life you'd only been the one to help, never ask for help, never needed anyone other than yourself.

"I'm going to touch you now," he muttered when he realized you were shaking, panic seething through your nerves as you showed him your deepest secret. His hands surrounded your wrists, delicately pulling you closer as you closed your eyes, stray tears slipping down your cheeks as you basked in the unfamiliar comfort.

"Please fight for me," you whispered almost shamefully, and Matt nodded, his heart breaking at the sound of your voice, every single faux force of strength you'd built over the years, crumbling at your feet as he gripped you tightly. "Please, Matt, take control for me, just for a bit- I can't do this alone anymore."

"You're not doing this alone," he interjected, and you opened your eyes, coming face to face with the worry that tugged at his features. "I'm here, right here," he sighed, and he saw no need for space once he heard you sniffing softly, pulling you forward so your fists rested against his chest, forehead settled against his. You'd never allowed him to feel you like this, feel you fall apart in his grip and he was sure he'd break down with you. Your mind was breaking you, destroying you and it angered him because he couldn't get rid of it, couldn't fight the demons who threatened what was his, because you were his, whether you'd openly titled it so or not, you were his to protect and take care of and make safe again, and he'd been waiting so long for you to let him, let him be strong for you and here you were, in his hold and he never wanted to let go, never wanted you to shatter like this again when he could so easily keep the pieces in place for you. "I'll fight for you, baby, I'll fight forever if you need me to because I'm not going anywhere," he promised and you nodded, feeling a hand drift gently to your cheek to move your head towards him, soft lips melting against your cold skin as he held you still.

You thought it greedy, finding so much peace in so few words. You knew the burden was heavy, knew it was crippling and once you found yourself again, you'd feel guilty for placing it onto his shoulders, for expecting him to carry it with you. But you needed him, needed to remember what it felt like to be happy, to be free and Matt was willing to help, he was willing to be strong so that you didn't have to be. He understood, so few people could but he knew your heart, knew that this was one of the most terrifying things you'd ever had to do, because it was real now- it was out there and you couldn't hide from it, couldn't hide it behind a kind smile and a helping heart. You were bare before him, you were brave enough to show him that you were broken, and he did what you thought no one would ever do- he laid down with you in the rubble.