Swipe Right for Catfish

Chapter 14

December 2019

"Are you done laughing now? I feel you've made your point," I said, but she continued to laugh. Jackie was now on the floor, holding her stomach in the fetal position. She was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face. Lifting my feet onto the desk, I leaned back in my chair and placed my hands on my head. "Oh man, I wish I could remember who that girl was, so I could apologize."

"I'm sure she remembers you. For all we know, you gave her PTSD. Every time she sees someone barf, she'll be transported to that dance floor," Jackie said, climbing off the ground back into her chair.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter now. I found a really great girl, so I'm going to focus on that. Actually, speaking of dating." Tapping a chocolate cigarette pack, I pulled one out and took a drag from it. "Listen, Toots, we got some important details to discuss before we're back on the clock." Taking my feet off the desk, I crossed my legs. I took a long drag, trying to gather all the information about the case.

"You know, this whole detective thing is pretty lame," Jackie said, "and your slang really needs work. You sound like an awful actor from a bad 1940s crime drama."

The criticism was so brutal it knocked me out of character. "Hey, can you just like support me? It took so long to nail this raspy detective accent, and for your information, those movies are phenomenal."

"Eh, I'm not all that impressed," she retorted, throwing her hands in the air and shrugging her shoulders.

"Come on, Jackie," I pleaded.

"Fine, fine, carry on, Detective," she said, air-quoting the word "detective." "What's the latest development in the case?"

I closed my eyes and took a long drag to recompose myself and get back into character. I opened my eyes to a frowning Jackie, arms crossed and not too pleased with my theatrics. "Listen, doll face, that computer nerd down there is crazy about you, head over heels even. He saw what you were working with and still wants to put a ring on it."

"Wait, what? Are you serious?" Her expression changed drastically. Now sitting on the edge of the desk, her mouth dropped open. "I thought I had ruined things."

I leaned in. "Trust me, Toots, I thought this was an open and shut case myself, but when I spoke with Jose, he said he hadn't been dating or even had plans to. Listen, kid, I've been in this game for a long time, and trust me, he's crazy about you."

For a second, I thought I saw her eyes get wide. A smile crawled up the side of her face, but then her face quickly snapped back to no expression at all. "Oh well, that's good to hear. Would you look at that? It's time to get back to work," Jackie said, then she swiveled around to face the window behind her. I knew we still had ten minutes, but I could see in the window's reflection the almost high-school girl smile as she looked out into the city.

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