Hearts Don't Break Around Here

Chapter 3 - Vanilla Cupcakes

Seventh Grade

Jennie knew she'd find Roseanne here. Rossway Cliff has quickly become Roseanne's favorite place to hang out, especially because nobody ever goes up there. And Roseanne, from what Jennie has gathered, really doesn't like being around people as much as she pretends to. Jennie wipes the sweat off of her forehead as she continues climbing up, higher and higher. Her skin is already dotted with new acne spots and she really doesn't need more sweat making it worse, but Roseanne hasn't talked to her in a week and Jennie is really starting to get worried. So, a few more pimples would be worth it.

Roseanne has been in the guidance counselor's office a lot since middle school started. She doesn't really tell Jennie what it is about, but Jennie has been noticing small things about Roseanne that are changing. Roseanne's grin isn't the same bright, toothy grin it used to be. She can see the light in Roseanne's eyes dimming. Even when they are at their brightest, they aren't as bright as they used to be. And Roseanne would walk out of the office and join Jennie in the hallway, plastering a fake smile on her face and saying "Sorry about that! So, wanna stop by the gas station and get Oreos?"

She sees Roseanne sitting near the edge of the cliff, hugging her knees and looking at the stream below. She looks sad. Her eyes are puffy and red. Jennie sighs. She's not sure how to talk to people about touchy things like this, but she's willing to try. At least Roseanne will know that she cares, even if she embarrasses herself. She slowly walks over and sits down next to Roseanne. "Hey." She says quietly.

Roseanne jumps slightly, surprised, and looks at Jennie with concerned eyes. "Snickers?"

"What are you doing up here?" Jennie asks. "Are you okay?"

Roseanne bites her lip, turning to look back at the creek. Jennie tries to read her expression, uselessly. She can't help but feel jealous because Roseanne's face is flawless-- not a zit in sight. And she even got the cool neon rubber bands for her braces. Jennie's are just an ugly silver. Roseanne's hair is shoulder-length, very short, and Jennie is still trying to get used to it. She liked how it was before, but Roseanne hated how much of it there was.

"My mom says I need to start seeing someone."

Jennie raises an eyebrow. "Seeing who?"

"Like...a therapist."

The silence around them is heavy. Jennie watches Roseanne's eyes turn glassy. She clears her throat. "Okay? So what?"

Roseanne scowls at her. "What do you mean, so what?" She snaps. "It's a big deal, okay? It means I'm crazy, and nobody can fix me."

"You're not crazy."

"I am." Roseanne shakes her head furiously.

"No, you're not. You just need some help, that's all."

"How come nobody else does, then? Why am I the only one who needs help?"

Jennie shrugs. "Does it matter?"

"Of course, it matters! Why am I so abnormal?"

"You're not," Jennie says again, frustratedly. "Everybody has something they need to fix about themselves. Look at my face! It's covered with pimples. And you don't have any. See? It's like that." Jennie reasons.

"Pimples go away with soap, Jennie. My whole brain is messed up!"

"No, it's not." Jennie swallows, thrown off by the use of her name where 'Snickers' usually goes. "Your brain is great."

"Oh really?" Jennie has never heard Roseanne this frustrated. Angry tears are filling her eyes. "Like you would know. You don't even hear half of the horrible things."