Hasta el fuego

Myself

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I hear the alarm sound and I get out of my bed. It's already 7 and I need to get ready for college. Lucky me I am still 22 and in college... I'm just sarcastic.

After getting dressed I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I step in and the first thing that came to my mind was the memory from last night. He was so close and he is barely looking at me everyday. We live in the same house but we are avoiding each other or it's just me that's avoiding him.

I shook my head and made myself some coffee with a lot of sugar and milk. Mmmmm it tastes so good. I take a seat at the table and take another sip of my coffee.

It's too quiet here. At this hour it should be at least a person screaming or something like that. In this house there are a lot of people that come by so it's really noisy.

Because of his work I can't see him often, but it's better this way. Last night I wonder why he wasn't sleeping. I think it's the same reason as mine, afraid to fall asleep because of those nightmares. He is stronger than me, he should be fine, but the circles under his eyes last night told me enough.

After finishing my coffee I get up to put it in the sink but the moment I get up a loud scream came from the living that startle me and I dropped the glass. The pieces scattered on the floor. I sighted and get down on my knees to pick up the pieces. Another scream came from the living and I clenched my fist with the pieces of glass in it without realizing. I let out a little whimper and got up. I threw the glass in the trash and looked at my hand. It's bleeding and I have deep cuts. I'm more fascinated about the blood that is dripping on my hand that the pain the cuts give me. I sound like a sadist right now, but I'm not. I think I just forgot how is to feel pain.

I hear yelling from the same place where the screaming came and full of anger I made my way to the living room. When I entered I spotted the two same persons that are always fighting and got closer to them ready to tell them something of my mind.

"You were supposed to watch over him!" The brunette said pointing a finger at the other girl. The 'other girl' has dark hair and black eyes also darker skin tone. Her name is Vanessa and she is a little pretentious. I know her for 2 years now and she really likes to pick fights with the other girl.

"It was you who told me I had to watch him for just 3 hours! It's not my fault you don't explain me things clearly!" She got closer to Vanessa and if looks could kill oh god she will be dead by now.
Her name is Elif, she is half Turkish. She is so arrogant and full of herself that she says she can't lose an argument because it will hurt her pride.

"Stop yelling. Can you be quiet at least for one morning?" I said and crossed my arms over my chest so they can't see the cuts on my hand that is bleeding. I waited for their answer that never came. I sighted and turned around to leave the room. I don't like to fight or yell at someone. In fact I don't like someone yelling at all. It makes my head hurt and memories come back.

My hand hurts and the bleeding looks like it won't stop soon. If I refrained myself and got control of my body and actions this wouldn't have happened. I tried countless times to control my emotions and I didn't succeed in this.

"I should go to the bathroom to clean this." I mumbled to myself looking at the open wounds that are on my hand. The cuts feel in a way good. I can feel the pain so I can feel I am still alive. But on the other hand I don't like to be hurt, it makes me feel weak.

I looked the other way trying to stop thinking and climbed the stairs. Waking to my room I heard talking from the room that is at the end of the hallway. . . his room. I started to walk faster and just go to my room. The doorknob moved and the next second he came out of there. He is dressed in a suit with his shirt undone and his tie hanging around his neck. He didn't notice me and was in a hurry to go down the stairs trying to close the bottoms of his sleeves.
He is already almost at the middle of the hallway and my room is right there.

I put my both hands at my back trying to look like I am just walking slowly to my room. I can't look in his direction so I'm looking around the hall. With the corner of my eye I can see he is close to me and in no time he will get past me. Right when he walks past me I slightly look at him finding his eyes already on me. My eyes fill with shock and fear to not be caught and I want to step back. His eyes moved from my eyes to my hands that are still on my back and then I realized the state I'm in and felt the blood dripping from the the palm on my hand falling on the ground. I tried to turn around so he couldn't see but in less than a second he grabbed my hand and my back hit the wall because of my attempt to step back. I tried to take my hand from his grip hurting myself more. I don't have the force to do that and he gripped it tighter. I whimpered and I squeezed my waist with my other hand trying to curl up in a ball.

I don't like to see blood it makes me sick but I suppressed my emotion so I don't freak on my own blood but now seeing how angry he is looking at my hand makes me feel too much.

He turned his head to look at me and his expression soften and became worried. He loosened his grip and his other hand approached my face. I wanted to step back but I hit the wall again. I looked away and felt his warm hand on my cheek whipping away my tears. Then I realized I was crying.

"Come with me." He said lowering his voice. His attitude changed and he became again cold and angry. He let go of my hand and I followed him to his bathroom. He waited for me to get in and closed the door. He showed me the chair that was there and I sat down looking at anything but him. He looked through many closets until he found what he was looking for. He took some cotton, spirit and bandages. He approached me and leaned down to treat my wound. He examined it and then turned to take the cotton and the spirit. I looked down the whole time.

He took my hand to clean the wound. I hissed when I felt the spirit. He stopped and looked at me.

"Hurts bad?" He asked me and stopped what he was doing. I looked at him a little and turned my head away again.

"It doesn't matter. I can bear with it." I said slowly and waited for him to apply spirit again but he didn't. I turned my head to look at him confused. He was looking at me like he waited for me to face him. His expression was strange, I can't understand what he feels but he looks a little disappointed.

"No you can't." He said and stand up to throw away the used cotton. He took the bandages and gently wrapped my hand with them. After he finished he got up and looked at me for a couple of seconds then left the bathroom. I remained there for I don't know how much and thinking, thinking about how beautiful and dangerous his blue eyes are.

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