Alan x Carl ~The Hookup~

Chapter Six: Alan

IM BACK BITCHESSSS
I'm probs going to be a little rusty but idc
Alli grabs the keys out of the ignition as I push open her car door and snatch my wallet from her cup holder. The large red Target sign illuminates the parking lot as we walk across. Alli insisted that we go out to buy our game outfits together. The theme is whiteout, so I don't know exactly why we need to go buy white shirts, but who knows? The LED lights inside almost blind me as we walk in. Alli seems unbothered as she grabs the cart and swings her keys and wallet by her side. We pass through the women's swimwear and junior section before we reach the men's. "Hey, what size do you wear?" Alli asks.
"Like a medium. Do I have to buy shorts too?"
"No, not unless you want new ones?" She says as she pulls a plain white tee off of a rack to her right.
We stroll around the store for 10 more minutes before she leads me away from the clothes towards the Starbucks in the front. Her jeans make a subtle swish noise as she jogs to get in line. We've only been hanging out for a little over 2 weeks, but that's all Ive needed to realize how happy Alli makes me. She always seems so positive; I just wish I could be the same. Lately, I've been wrestling with worry. That whole thing with Carl and now a new relationship plus this rumor that Alli and I are dating has kind of gotten under my skin. Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy Alli, but I don't think I would date her. I don't think she sees it that way so everything's fine for now. Alli orders some kind of coffee before I step up to the register. "Could I get a venti dragon fruit refresher?" I say.
"Of course. Is that all for the two of you?" The cashier asks.
"Yeah that's all."
"Great! And what's the name for the order?"
Alli and I reply in unison, "Jerry" with knowing smiles on both our faces.
The cashier gives us a wink and says, "If you guys aren't the definition of a cute couple, I don't know what is."
I just blink back at her. Alli begins to say something before I add, " we're not a couple actually."
I turn to Alli to see her face slightly pink and contorted. I really hope I didn't just say something the wrong way. After I pay, we move to the other end of the counter and wait a moment for our drinks. Once our order is called, we grab our drinks and head out of the store.
I notice the parking lot is even more empty than when we walked in just an hour ago. Alli puts her car in reverse as I pump up the radio. The ride home is slightly quieter than usual, possibly the aftermath of Starbucks. Alli takes the final curve before my house cautiously and finally pulls into my driveway before saying anything. I face her with my target bags in hand. "Listen, I'm really sorry if I said anything weird or uncomfortable back there. It's completely my bad."
Alli copies my movement and faces me with nervous eyes.
"It's ok Alan, it's not a big deal."
"Are you sure? You've been kinda quiet."
"Listen, and don't take this the wrong way," she says before inhaling, "I've really loved these past couple weeks, and I've noticed how I feel around you. When we hangout, I feel like myself. I don't know if you feel the same, but I just wanted to let you know."
I lightly smile at her before opening the door and stepping out. I put my hand on the outside of the window and say, "I've really enjoyed being with you too," just before I shut the door and walk up to the porch. As I open the screen, I turn back to her car and see the widest smile cross her face. In my room, I toss the target bag on my bed and spread myself out on my floor. I feel like a liar. The knots in my stomach churn from what I said. I've never lead a girl on. I've never felt like I needed to lead a girl on. Why do things have to be so complicated with me all of the time. Alli wants this relationship, the school wants this relationship. Hell, even my parents want this relationship to happen. Guilt combines with defeat and causes even more ruckus in my gut. I should like her. Why can't I like her back? It would make things so much easier if I just felt the same way she does.