0 || Torn

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NOTE: Reader will use the name Hollie Stark and female pronouns during or when referring to past events, but will be use (Y/n) (L/n) and gender neutral pronouns for current events.

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You'd sound completely insane if you ever told anyone your greatest secret. Even so, you've often found yourself wondering how someone would react just on the off change that you did decide to share it with them. Would they laugh it off as a good joke? Scoff while telling you you're an attention seeker? Hell, insist it enough and they might ship you off to an asylum.

To be honest, it hasn't always been a secret. As a child, you were rather open towards expressing yourself and your inner thoughts, but of course, children are allowed to talk nonsense, aren't they. Back then, people would just smile, impressed by your extremely detailed imagination and very 'mature' personality for someone so young. By the time you reached middle school, however, it was no longer cute to insist you don't need school since you already have two PhD's and will be eighty-four in the summer which, in your opinion at least, was far too old to be stuck with preteens gossiping about boy bands and wearing revealing shorts that barely covered their butts.

When the weird stares and hurtful mocking became apparent, you learned to keep your mouth shut and maintain the secret that you are two people at once...and no, this isn't a case of personality disorder; you ruled out that conclusion by the time you were fourteen. No, this is a case of having been reborn again sixteen years after dying yet somehow maintaining all the memories your past life had experienced.

Beyond anyone else's understanding and sometimes even your own, your story technically began on July 21st, 1919, in Richford, New York when you had been born as the second child and daughter of a far more modest Stark family. Your parents, ever so old fashioned, decided to keep with the 'H' theme they began with your brother, naming you Hollie. As Hollie, you lived a wonderful life, having a fair share of both love and heartache before being murdered in 1974 which you honestly could've done without.

While death usually marks the end of most people's stories, apparently good old Hollie Stark was too stubborn to go out after round one, instead deciding to come back as (Y/n) (L/n) in 1990; a life you've been living for the last twenty years now.

Despite how much you enjoy your life as (Y/n), it hasn't been easy starting over again. You carry all the knowledge that comes with having navigated life once before and, with that said, the connections you had made as Hollie still hold strong within your heart yet remain high out of reach for someone as ordinary and young as (Y/n).

Regardless of whether others believe it, deep down you know that you are Hollie and long for the life that had been stolen from her throughout countless moments of her time. You miss your brother and nephew, you miss your best friend as well as the good you did together for the world, and most importantly of all, you miss your beloved James Buchanan Barnes; the man Hollie's heart had been set on marrying only for the war to tear him out of grasp.

Most of whom you love are gone as are the exact opportunities you had as Hollie, but as you've come to stubbornly conclude, that doesn't necessarily mean (Y/n) can't try to follow in some of her footsteps, too.

"(L/n), he'll be seeing you now."

You stand to your feet with your resume folder in hand, bowing your head with a polite smile to the receptionist as you pass by into the office. While you've learned long ago not to ever get your hopes up, you can't help but feel a bubble of confidence as you take another seat, eagerly prepared to start living your life where the previous one left off.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Director Fury. My name is (Y/n) (L/n)."

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