Just beneath the surface

Chapter 3

Professor Snape found himself unable to stop thinking of Miss White as he taught five lessons of unruly first years — a day he dreaded each week.
The worry for Ella White may not have been as prominent if there was the knowledge that she would be attending her apprenticeship after hours, but it was a Wednesday, and Ella had never in the last two years taken extra work on Wednesdays.

The girl — with her being a Ravenclaw— had unsurprisingly taken on a good deal more classes than her peers in other houses. Professor Snape had never thought of it before, had simply put it down to the girls vivacious spirit and ability to make her own happiness that the extra classes she took—though were a lot for her to handle—had never chased her to complain. And to do an apprenticeship on top of all of that, well, Professor Snape wondered how on Earth the girl found time to sleep.
So it wasn't odd for Ella not to be here on a Wednesday, and Professor Snape would not have thought on it if it had not been for that revealing meeting they had had last night.

It had worried Snape greatly, and he had been awake for long hours, unable to get the image of her sliced forearms from his mind. It was simply too... violent for the type of girl that Ella was.

The concern for Ella somewhat lessened as Professor Snape spotted a head of chestnut hair sat amongst her peers at the Ravenclaw table, and it eased his worry further to see her eating a full meal. Snape couldn't help but wonder when the last time she had eaten before this was, but he was glad to see her move forkfuls of potato into her mouth.
Snape hoped to speak with Ella after dinner and check that the report back from the house elf he had sent after her had indeed been correct; Ella had not harmed herself in any way since he had spoken with her.
But as Snape finished his own meal and turned from his conversation with the headmaster, he was surprised to see Ella fleeing so quickly from the great hall that he wondered what on Earth had deemed her to move so fast.

Upon returning to his own classroom, Professor Snape thought long and hard about sending an elf after Ella and summoning her to his classroom so he could check she was okay. It wouldn't have been inappropriate— far from it in fact— the only grey area was that he battled with himself hourly about informing the headmaster of the girls troubles.
But as he was under no obligation to do so, and that he knew Dumbledore would be more than happy for Snape to deal with the issue, he decided not to break that branch of trust Ella had so warily laid him.
And after all, it was a Wednesday, and Ella was always so busy on Wednesdays that Professor Snape couldn't bring himself to pull her away from her studies and risk stressing her out even further.

***

Thursday first period rolled around and Professor Snape was glad to see Ella fully immersed in her work as he taught the fifth years. He kept his distance from the girl however, he didn't wish to make Ella uncomfortable in front of her classmates and besides, Ella would be attending his classroom again this evening to work through a list of potions required for St. Mungo's.

***

Professor Snape cursed the Headmaster under his breath as he made his way down to his classroom after both dinner and and an incredibly boring meeting about the new defence against the dark arts teacher. Snape had longed dreamed of the job, but now that it was easily up for grabs and readily available to him, he found he rather enjoyed potions and his own classroom, and that perhaps the want for the dark arts position had simply been for the thrill of the chase of it. He no longer cared about the subject.

It was not surprising that Ella was already in the classroom, nor that she had set up three cauldrons which were bubbling away nicely on the desk as she lent over a piece of parchment and scribbled away at it. Professor Snape was glad to see the mug of tea beside the girl, and it eased his worry for her to know that at least her need for constant tea had not waved in the weeks over Christmas where Ella herself had.
It bugged him, however, that the space beside the mug was empty, and there was not a slice of cake there—another thing he had noticed about Ella in the time they had worked together— wherever she had tea, she had cake.

Easily rectifiable though, Professor Snape thought as he edged further into the classroom.

"Good evening, Miss White." Ella startled at the Proffessors arrival, and the worry that had ebbed away slightly at the sight of Ella with a cup of tea beside her was quickly quashed with a wave of anxiety for the girl staring back at him who looked ghostlike. Ella's skin had become so pale that her dark locks of hair were a stark contrast in colour. Snape wondered when the last time was that Ella had actually slept.

"Sorry sir, i was just catching up on some homework- but the potions list you left for me has been done, they just need to brew for another hour and then they'll all be ready to store in vials. I wouldnt have started working on this essay if i hadnt already completed the potions, and-" Proffessor Snape cut the girl off with a slight raise of his hand. If he hadnt have been so concerned for how tired she looked, Snape may have thought her back to normal with the amount of words that had managed to leave the girls tongue in a matter of seconds.

"Not at all, Miss White." Ella's face relaxed its tight lines as Snape watched her finish the sentence she had been writing. He was almost shocked when he saw what piece of homework she was working on.

In her five years at Hogwarts, Ella White had handed every single potions essay in within a day of it being set. And had Snape not noticed that it was indeed a potions essay set over two weeks ago, he would have assumed Ella's work was already in the pile on his desk, and that if it were somehow not, that it was he who must have misplaced it. Snape pondered the situation over in his head as Ella continued writing, and every conclusion he reached, he didnt like.

Ella found potions easy. The entire school knew it. Ella's work was always handed in early because it simply required no effort for her to write the thing. So for Ella to be almost two weeks behind on an essay that she found easy, where was she in regards to her other studies?And more importantly, what had occupied her time otherwise for her to not be writing?

"Miss White, i daresay its rather cold in this classroom, shall we?" It wasnt unusual for Ella to work in Proffessor Snapes own quarters in the evenings, especially when it was winter and so unnaturally cold in the potions classroom. So Snape had no qualms about asking Ella into his own sitting room, and she certainly did not find it odd either.

Carrying a cauldron each, and summoning one to float behind them, Snape opened the door for Ella and watched her reclaim a familiar spot in the armchair by the fireplace. Snape thought she had never looked so frail curled up in that chair as she did now, and the question of what had caused her to fall so far behind in her studies was bothering him.

Ella watched as Proffesor Snape poured them both a mug of fresh tea and placed a plate of cake beside Ella on the table. Ella's stomach clenched hard at the sight of it, and she was unsure as to whether it was because she missed eating cake, or becuase the thought of it made her want to throw up.

The pair continued in silence for a moment; Ella stirring the cauldrons and Snape reading through the essay she handed to him now completed. He didnt have the heart to tell her she had listed her ingredients in the essay completely wrong. Ella was better than that.

"Ella." Ella's eyes lifted slowly from her cauldron to meet the gaze of Proffessor Snape where he had placed the essay on the table and now watched her intricately.

"Yes sir?" Ella's heart raced as she took in the solemn demeanour and the use of her first name.

"Please forgive me, i know better than to be so brash, but i need to ask. Have you harmed yourself in the days since i last spoke to you?" Proffesor Snape didnt know who was more tense as a heartbeat of silence passed between them before Ella spoke.

"I haven't. I promise." True. Ella would never lie, she was too good for that. And the report back from the house elves that Snape had had watch over Ella also confirmed her words, thought he had wanted to be sure.

"Good. Then i will stick to what i previosuly said and i will refrain from telling the headmaster." Ella's shoulders visibly relaxed at the statement, though Snape couldnt help but feel more anxious for the girl. "Though i must insist Miss White, that if you feel tempted to harm yourself in any way again, that you are to come and find me immediately." Ella nodded once, a sure sign it was not a conversation she wished to have but Snape had been unable to shake the subject from his head as the days had gone by.

The pair continued in a comfortable silence for the hour until all of the potions had been transfered into vials and Ella slipped away for the night.

The unotuched cake however, did not go unnoticed by Proffesor Snape and he sighed heavily before he too tried to find peace within sleep.