The Notebook He Stole

Chapter Three

(Has been edited and revised)

Chapter Three: This Is Gospel

Chapter Three

As she walked down the hallway to her next class, Charlotte couldn't help but think of the conversation she had just had with Eli. Why he wanted her help, she didn't know. She couldn't think of a reason. All she knew was that it was going to be a long two and a half weeks with this project and playing his fake girlfriend.

Right as the bell rang, signaling the end of the period and the beginning of lunch, Charlotte dashed out of her Language Arts room, both happy and pissed. Happy because it was finally lunch time, and pissed because she was set up with Eli for another project. A reading project. Students have to read The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson and make a display of what they read and what they got out of it. They all got a copy of the book, free to write and mark it up if need be. Charlotte was actually kind of excited. She had read this book many times and each time she read it, she got something different out of it.

She walked into the cafeteria, pulling out the five dollars she had in the pocket of her backpack. She grabbed a bottle of water and a Rice Krispy treat before paying for them and walking outside, ignoring the stares and laughter she heard behind her.

"Charlotte!" Someone called after her, a very familiar someone. She sighed and turned around, seeing the offending person waving her over to his table. She slightly shook her head. "Come here!" She rolled her eyes and walked over, eyes glued to the floor as the table silenced. Eli smiled brightly up at her and tugged her down next to him, lacing their fingers together. "Hey babe!" He chirped, pecking her cheek, causing her to flinch back.

"Um..."

"Eli!" A voice shrieked from behind them, another body plopping on the other side of him. "Baby!" He rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, moving closer to Charlotte who sat there with a scared look on her face. She faintly heard him mumble, 'clingy bitch' under his breath, her lips curving up just the slightest. He looked up and saw her lips twitch, his own smile making its way onto his face.

"I saw that," he whispered into her ear, feeling her body shiver.

"C-can I go now?"

"Eli!" He sighed and slumped his head onto her shoulder.

"Don't leave me alone with it." Charlotte laughed and shoved his head off her shoulder, standing up after grabbing her bag.

"Goodbye, Eli." Just before she started walking off, Eli snatched her hand. "The fuck?"

"Tsk tsk, potty mouth. Anyway, we're going to my house after school. Wait for me in the parking lot."

"But I—"

"Wait for me," he said more firmly, staring into her eyes. She sighed and nodded, yanking her hand out of his grasp and walking outside to the back of the school. Eli watched her the whole time, eyes following as she went into the forest to her favorite tree.

She sighed as she threw her bag onto the mossy ground next to the tree, her figure soon following it onto the floor. Charlotte slumped against the tree for a moment, breathing in the fresh air. She then exhaled deeply and grabbed her iPhone, plugging in her headphones and turning on the piano version of This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco. As it played, she grabbed one of her spare notebooks and opened it up, taking a pencil out of her sweater pocket and starting to sketch. It was a battle. Two people, warriors, rather, battling against each other over something. Life, most likely, Charlotte thought. Everybody fights over life.

If you love me let me go

If you love me let me go

'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars

The fear of falling apart

And truth be told I never was yours

The fear, the fear of falling apart.

For the rest of the day, Charlotte ignored everything and everyone, even Catherine, which was pretty hard. She ignored the winks and taunts about her notebook Eli threw at her. It was now the end of the day, last period, and Charlotte was walking around the hallways. She had finished all her work and there was ten minutes left of school so her substitute let her wander around. And wander she did. She had her Jack Skellington wallet in her back pocket, her trusty razor inside it.

She walked into the girl's bathroom, heading straight into a stall and locking it behind her. She sat down on the toilet, pulling out her razor and toying with it in her hands.

You're worthless.

You're unloved.

Why won't you just die?

Why did she have to be our sister?

You were never my sister.

I will never love you.

With each statement, another slice on her arms. Blood was running down her skin, a little dropping onto the bathroom tile. She didn't feel any of the pain, though, only release. She felt all the pain she had felt that day and the day before slowly drift away, even if it was only temporary. She knew that the feeling would come back later on today, and her arm would be filled with cuts by the end of the night. But she didn't care. She didn't care because right in that moment, she was finally okay.

Small note: I highly recommend you read The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson. I absolutely love that book. It's probably number one on my list of books I love. By the way, it's not a Wattpad book. :) It's a real book.