Blair James

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My name is Blair. I am 24 and I am secretary for a record label. As I sip on my coffee, the phones start roaring to life. It is 7:00 a.m. The usual for me to be stressing out about answering phones, repeating the same line over and over again. I set my coffee down on the coaster beside my personal cell and reach for my first phone. "Red Bedroom Records. Blair speaking." Nothing special just answering questions about meeting times or where to find the specific building. Then my work cell buzzes. I don't check the text, I already know the routine. I stroll across the street and grab a caramel macchiato and walk back to my building. I go to the elevator, click the glowing button representing the 12th floor, and waited. It stopped first at the 7th floor, where I grabbed some muffins from the security guard whom always waits for me to ride up. I thank him with a smile and go back to the elevator before it shuts. I ride to the 12th floor and power walk to my bosses office. I sit down a muffin and the drink, straighten up some loose papers. Just as I was about to turn and leave, he busts through the door. His suit freshly pressed and very expensive looking. I look at the ground and tuck a bit of loose hair behind my ear.

"Good Morning Mr. Pasternak. I have your coffee sitting on your desk with a muffin I bought from the shop. Your papers are straightened out on your desk and the phone hasn't rang yet. I will be downstairs if you need my assistance."

"Hello Blair. When are you going to agree to that promotion?"

"I have already told you, I am going to speak with my mother about it. I will think about it." I walk quickly out of the room, simply wanting the conversation to be over. His promotion is nothing I want. It's not worth it. I could be Vice President of Red Bedroom Records if I have an affair with Mr. Pasternak. I refuse to. I am not even going to think about it, I just wanted to leave. Even if I was considering it, I would never speak with my mother about it. Never.

I go back to the main floor to find flowers on my desk with the florist impatiently waiting.
" Miss, can you please sign for these I am in a massive hurry."
" I can relate." I walk over and sign for the flowers and see they are for me.
"Promotion? :) -Mr. Pasternak." Daisies. I'm allergic to daisies. I go into the dirty women's restroom and through them away in a stall trash can. I don't want him finding them and getting the wrong idea. You'd think it would be easier to explain but he is very stubborn and is not easily persuaded. I sit back on my desk and answer phone calls and emails. At 6 o'clock I grab my paper work and my coat. I walk out of my little area and leave the building. I walk through the city to the subway station and jump on last second. I ride to the smaller, poorer area of the big city and walk 4 blocks to my small studio apartment. I sit my stuff down and hang my keys on the hook by the door and follow that with hanging my coat. I shuffle off my uncomfortable shoes and walk into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water, I walk to my bed and sit with my laptop. I sit working on some papers from work that I couldn't get finished. I schedule meetings for the next month and talk to some board members. The front door creeks open. I don't pay any mind. I'm in a conference email chat and I didn't have the time for leisure. Jacob peers into the room, smile of a million stars on his face. Not looking up from the laptop, I grab my glass and take a sip. He walks over and sits on the bed beside me, arms wrapped around my waist, head on my shoulder studying the screen. Seeing that I'm busy and stressed out, he stands, kisses my head, and walks out to the kitchen. He begins making something for us to eat. He was always the chef. I look up at him and push up my glasses at the same time. He was so perfect for me. Standing at the stove, knowing exactly what was to come next in whatever he was creating. I closed the laptop and laid back on the bed, forcing myself to stay awake.
"How was work?"
"The usual, the worst part of the day."
"Figured. It can only get better, love. Keep your hope strong."
" I know, you tell me everyday. It gets hard after awhile I guess. I don't know. How was your day?"
"Well, I need to talk to you about that. But let's eat first, please."
"Okay." I become a little anxious about what he his to tell me but I know we will be fine. We eat dinner and I wash my plate and put it on the drying rack and walk to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and put my hair into a little messy bun. I put on one of his shirts to sleep in and shuffle out in my slippers and sit on the edge of the bed. I take a sip of water and lay back, abandoning the slippers as I fell onto the bed. He is sitting Indian style next to me just staring at me. I roll over to face him and I see the slight pain in his eyes. I give him a side smile and wait for him to talk.
"I got a call today, Blair."
"Ya?"
"I'm being called out." With that hanging in the air, he turns away. I'm hit with the pain of it. Jacob is in the army. I was always afraid of this happening. I didn't know what to do. I just was there, in the spot I was in. Breathing and staring at his back without a word to say because what am I to say. Make him feel guilty? Make him more upset? I didn't know what to do, so I just lie here.
"Please say something, Blair."
"Ok."
"That's not what I meant. I don't want to leave you. How are we going to stay together."
" I will wait for you. I promise. It will all be amazing. Our lives with carry together even when we are apart."
"What about your boss? And your mother? And you. I can't leave you here alone."
"Everything you just used against this situation was about me. My boss. My mother. Me. I will handle my problems while you are away. I can handle it. You don't need to be worried about me."
"I can't help it. You're my life. I worry all the time."
"You don't need to anymore. It's time for me to grow up a little bit."
"But I don't want you to have to grow up."
"I've needed to for a while." I crawl over to him and hold him, hoping to comfort him. He smiles and leans back and holds me and we fall asleep.
I wake up and he's standing in the bathroom wearing his army gear and his boots are sitting on the foot of the bed. I roll out of bed and into the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. I walk over to him and see he's been crying but I don't make it obvious I know. I don't want him embarrassed or anything. He turns and pulls me into his chest, sobbing a little. I break a little wishing I could help with his pain, but knowing I can't kills my heart. He never breaks down. I stands there. Cargo pants, covered in camouflage with his belt and shirt halfway on. He wipes is eyes with a towel next to us. He pulls away and I take a little step back and smile at him, trying to assure him it's all going to be ok. On the inside my heart is screaming for him to stay. My mind is telling me to stay calm and let him go. This is what he does and I support him. He begins brushing his teeth and I walk out to the kitchen and sit on the table. My legs swinging, I sip on my drink and wait for him to come into the room. He comes in and walks to me. I reach my arms up like an infant to their mother, the person they couldn't live without, and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands on my sides, foreheads pressed together. Sitting in silence for the last time for a while.
"I love you Blair James. I promise I will come back to you."
"I love you Jacob. I promise I will wait." I smile and kiss him for the last time and he leaves. I stand by the window and watch him leave. As he pulls out of the drive, I begin to tear up. As he leaves my sight, I begin to cry.

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