I don't know

I don't know...
This is the worst I have felt in so long, I told my dad to burn in hell before he had killed himself. I at least wanted to say something better but I wasn't thinking.

"omg He's dead...W-what do we do!?, do we leave him like this laying here?" I say looking at Aron panicked
"I-I don't know I haven't ever dealt with something like this!" Aron say also starting to panic.

"Should we just go? And leave him here, no one would come looking for him? Right no one really cared for him and he didn't have friends..." I say then going quite, thinking about what I had Said to him.

"Ok yea, let's just go get his out of our head and start out long drive to your mom's!" Aron says putting his hand on my shoulder trying to give me a boost of motivation.
I look up at him and smile.
"Ok" :)

As we get into the old car I found in our falling apart garage with broken windows, ripped seats and trailer of dust everywhere.
"OH boy I hope this thing still works!" Aron says stroking his finger across the dashboard along the dust almost like his finger is surfing in waves.
"Let's hope for the best!" I say crossing my fingers while using my sleeve to sweep off what's ever on my ripped seat.

On!.... off..... on!..... off
"What the heck? It starts then just gives up? Aron says
Let's mabye fill it up? I don't remember the last time I was filled, I'm sure we have gas somewhere around his junk place.
We get out looking for gas, we screached for about an hour looking for some, but ended up stumbling into a box of my old baby things.
I find a baby picture of me, dad and mom all together happy for once, my dad sitting there smiling with his big Bright teeth also looking healthy. My mom holding me so happy I'm here and with them, it was all they could ever want a perfect sized happy family.
I almost teared up looking at it, then I find this note from my dad he must had wrote to me in the hospital.
 
"I know I might not tell you enough but the day you were born was the best day I could possibly have. Seeing you come out so beautiful, knowing that I was a father, and I had to protect you with everything I had made me feel amazing. And I just wanted you to know that I love you so much Lucy, your the best thing that has stumbled into this word. Even though moms not around, I'm glad you get to live with me. And I'm so unbelievably happy that I get to be YOUR dad. Lucy I love you so very much♡
                                                    Sincerely- Mark
                                                                           March 4th 2004.