the phantom troupe husband and wife scenarios

your baby asks where do babies come from

when i saw this request i had to start immediately 

chrollo:

shelly was around 6 now. god how fast time flies. you sat on the couch sipping your wine when shelly came in. "hey mommy I have a question" she said. "what's up babes?" you said. "where do babies come from?" she asked. you choked on your wine trying to catch your breath. "was I not supposed to ask that?" she said. "no baby its fine I asked the same question when I was your age but I found my answer through a 5-year long porn addiction" you said mumbling the last part.

"but ok sit down and ill explain it to you just don't tell your dad" you said as shelly got on the couch.

timeskip~

after about an hour of talking shelly had gotten the picture. "but remember you cant have sex with just anyone ou can catch what called an std or aids or hiv those are some of the main ones and oh sifilice which if you catch that one early you can get it cured but the rest of them your stuck with them for the rest of your life and the are not pretty" you said. "do you have one?" she asked. "oh hell no I used condoms, also a great way to not get pregnant" you said. she asked more questions and you answered them to the best of your ability until you heard the door open.

"hey how are my girls?" chrollo asked. "daddy!" shelly said as she ran to the front door. "how was your day with mommy?" he asked. "it was great we talked!" she said. "about?...." "nothing you need to know" she said as she skipped back to the couch. "what were you guys talking about?" chrollo asked. "she already told you" you laughed. 

nobunaga:

over the years the two of you noticed that nezuko couldn't speak turns out she was a mute but you loved her nevertheless. "hey mom!" tanjirou said. nezuko followed him in. "yea what's up kiddos?" you said. "I'm sorry if this sounds wrong but where do babies come from?" he asked. nezuko nodded because she wanted to know as well. "oh god well I mean I might explain it to you two now before you look it up on the internet" you said as they sat down on the couch. 

timeskip~

by the end of your lecture, they both looked traumatised. "y-you really did t-that too have us?!" tanjirou asked. "yep and for girl the first time you do it it hurts like a bitch" you said scaring nezuko. "I'm just messin with ya but it will hurt like hell for a bit" you said giving the two head pats. "does dad know about this?" tanjirou asked. "yea you kinda need two to have a kid or kids or a transgender person," you said as they ran off not wanting to hear anymore. 

uvo:

you didn't wanna ruin izuku's innocence so you waited until he asked you. you just didn't expect it to be this soon. "mommy where do babies come from?" he asked.  "you really wanna know?" you said. "I can go ask daddy if you're too busy," he said. "I'll save you the trauma and explain it to you" you said. 

timekskip~

"so that's how that works" he said. "yea child birth is worse after basically growing something inside of you that explains your belly the you have to push it out of your coochi well you won't have to your girlfriend or wife will if that's what you happen to be into when the time comes," you said. "well thank you mommy" izu said as he skipped away. you smiled at your great parenting moment until you heard 'daddy I know where babies come from now!' 'you what! (y/n)!'

shalnark:

kenma wasn't all that interested in it but some kids at school showed him a video and being comfortable with his parents he came home and asked you. "mommy where do babies come from?" he asked out of nowhere. "yea I do why?" you said looking down at him. "some kids showed me this video and the said that how they were made the video made me uncomfortable" he said. "note to self have *twitch* a word with the next-door neighbors" you said to yourself. "but yea come on kid better i tell you now then have ou find out through an incognito tab"