The Piña Colada

Kat

I instantly knew in that moment that I needed to adopt Kat immediately. I signed all the papers before even telling Cam. I was so happy. I now have a new best friend that is not a janitor. He went to tell Cam the news, but he could not find him. He searched for about ten minutes to find him weeping in the bathroom.
"Cam what's wrong?"

"I did not find my soulmate here. Wait... did you?? What is in your bag Alan?"

"I was just coming to tell you, meet my new bitch Kat."

"That's so amazing."

"Yes!! Lets go celebrate."

We went out to a club and partied all night, and the next day we went back to cleaning the schools. Over the next few weeks kat is settling in amazingly.

one night, cam and i are sipping our virgin pina coladas, and i got up to grab a spoon for cam. all of a sudden, kat jumps up on the table and DRINKS FROM THE PIÑA COLADA. i SCREAM at cam to get her down

"CAM WHAT R U DOING GET HER DKWN FROM THERE SHES GKNNA DIE FROM MY VIRGIN PINA COLADA"

"ok alan"

he pushed my sweet kat off the table and this infuriated me.

"why did u push her cam she is old and delicate."

"shut up alan she is just a cat"

as we argue kat transforms.
she turns into a tall woman with short black hair wearing black sunnies. she looks fresh out of euphoria. cam and i love that show. we both look at each other in shock. how did my cat turn into this stunning woman? i always thought i might be gay, but after seeing this goddess??? i think even cam became straight in this moment.

"i am finally free" she says.

"how did u turn into a gorgeous woman?? i thought u were just a cat??"

"yes. i am KAT."

then cam says "hey wait u look like this porn star i know"

i scoffed at cams remarks. how could he say that to my future woman.

"well cam, you are correct. that is my big secret."

"then how are u a cat?? are u a furry?????"

"yes cam it's true. i got cursed by my old pal rue and she made me a cat while on some serious drugs. i wonder if she ever got help."

"wait so are u from euphoria??" i asked

"yes. it's the real me baby."

cam and i look at her in awe. that is our favorite show of all time. this made me fall even harder.

"i am shook. unfortunately i have a sneaky link to get to, bye alan and kat!"

cam left and it was just the two of us. i'll admit, i've seen kat in action 😉. i am obviously insanely attracted to her. i just hope she feels the same way about me even if i am just a dirty janitor.
there was a lot of silence and then she started searching my fridge and eating the whole thing. she might as well just eat the fridge while she's at it.

"i am just so hungry! all that cat food was not very spectacular."
"well... i know what else u can eat." i said giving her a suggestive look. she instantly caught on and dropped all the food out of her hands and walked over to me and pressed her gentle lips upon mine. i felt like the luckiest man on the planet.