The Lie (Camren)

4. But Your Poison Was The Cure

Lauren's POV

I unlocked the door, with my hand clasped on Keana's waist. She practically carried me since I couldn't walk properly. She wasn't any better than me. She was laughing without a specific reason, with her head pushed back and her eyes glowing. My breath should be stinking of alcohol. If my manager found out I got out without his permission, he would kill me. He claimed that he was worried about whether a crazy fan would assault me. 'What a fool.' Thankfully there were some quiet bars in Fifth Avenue where no one cared about the others. You could sit back in the corner having a drink or wine, listening to jazz music and no one would bother you. Every time I wanted to hang out with a friend I went there. Or every time I wanted to bring someone to my place later.

My sexuality was clear to me and only the closest people to me knew. Of course, my manager had no idea and I was sure if he found out he would force me to date some guy and be my fake boyfriend. He even forbade me this time to date someone and if I did he wanted me to keep it a secret because the fans would be disappointed. He thought if I got in a relationship they would get disappointed because it drove them crazy that I was young, attractive and single. He was so emotionally dead that it didn't even cross his mind that my true fans would be happy with my happiness. They would be happy with my choice, whatever that would be.

I kept it a secret not out of shame. People knew I supported for years now the LGBTQ community. But since I hadn't found a suitable person for a serious relationship, there was no point in sharing mine on social media. It was nobody's business. For forever I had been trying to keep apart my personal life from the publicity. However, I would be the first to come out proud and show to the world my girlfriend, if she ever existed. I had learned my lesson, I wasn't going to repeat it.

Of course, my fans weren't stupid. They knew. They spent their day on my social media and especially on my Tumblr account that I used the most. They screenshot my posts, reposting them on Twitter, writing to me "Lauren your gayness is showing". They were fanaticised about me and my sexuality. Only when Camren got huge dimensions, I ended up being the greatest lesbian icon while Camila the nice sweet girl that something happened to her and didn't smile anymore.

"I think I've got a bottle of wine in my fridge. Should I serve us?" I said trying to walk and grabbed her tiny waist with both my hands, forcing her to take some steps back.

"You're wasted!" She said laughing.

I really was. A lot. After Ryan's interview, I was so upset that I needed to drink something to feel better. For two years now I had accomplished to avoid my past and now that it was coming back to my life, my mind could only think of that. I called Keana immediately. She was a friend since my childhood and now had become a model working in Victoria's Secret. Moreover, she stayed close to my place. Since forever she liked me more as a friend, but never something happened between us. I never tried it with her. My mind needed to get rid of Camila's thoughts. Maybe I needed to have sex. Maybe that was the reason. It had been too long since I have had sex. And when I did, was occasionally one night stands that I regretted the following day since they offered me nothing. What one-night stand could offer me when my body had experienced the act of making love. I never fancied shallow relationships. I wanted to wake up next to someone and not just share a bed.

But there I was, drunk, having a horny girl in my arms, waiting to give her what she had been wanting for years.

"Yes, I'm drunk, but I want to get more." I returned laughing and dug my face into her neck, trapping a part of her white skin between my teeth. A sigh came out of her lips.