The Lie (Camren)

7. Long Time No See

You can tell how someone feels about you by the way they look at you.

Camila's real reblog on Tumblr

You can tell so much about a person by the way they leave you.

Lauren's real reblog on Tumblr

Lauren's POV

I wasn't listening to him or anything anymore. I kept staring at Brad stunned. His question woke up one of my most forbidden memories. The one I didn't dare to recall. I didn't dare because I knew that after that night I lost my mind. It didn't belong to me anymore. I gave it to her such as I gave her my soul.

"The reason nothing happened between us back then, was Camila?"

His question kept playing in my mind. My jaw dropped, unable to find my words and Brad looked at me like I didn't even have to answer him. He knew. He had gotten the answer he needed.

"Lauren, in 10 seconds you're out." The manager's voice sounded muffled in my ears.

I turned my back to Brad, without answering him. My blurry mind sped up my breath. I had to put myself together. 'How the hell am I going to sing in this condition?' I felt my heartbeat intense in my chest and I was sure no voice would come out of me.

"And now, the multi-awarded, Lauren Jauregui!" The host exclaimed enthusiastically and her voice crashed into my ears, making my feet unable to move.

The crowd below screamed and cheered, but even that was a muffled sound to my ears. I swept the sweat on my forehead and walked without thinking on the stage. My eyes fixed on the microphone in the middle of the stage, which was illuminated by the spotlight and the rest of the stage was dark. They were ready for me and I was not at all. I knew she was somewhere there in the crowd. I knew she was in one of those seats and while the previous times I got on the stage and sang without caring so much, now I found it impossible after my memory's recall. I swallowed my breath and put on a forced smile. 'Where is your strength, Lauren? Why do you feel weak again to the thought that she might be next to you?'

I felt my breath shaky by the anxiety. The feeling of that night, my hands holding Camila so tightly like a dagger stabbed my heart. The love I used to have for her felt like a knot in my throat. The memory of her face against mine, made me want to look at her desperately. Watch after 2 years the face that haunted me at night. 'No, Lauren, don't do this mistake. You're not ready to see her again.'

I gathered whatever strength was still left and swallowed the desire that had grown in each cell of my body. My feet brought me to the microphone in the middle of the stage while for the first time the walk from backstage seemed so long. I tried to control my shaky breath and held with my hands the microphone. The song's melody started and I shut my eyes, to focus on the song and stop thinking that Camila was probably down there. If I opened them, I would probably lose control. 'Who the hell am I fooling? I never had control when it came to her.'

*Before I ever met you - Banks*

"Everyone knows I'm right about one thing"

"You and I don't work out"

My voice was raspier than usual and my emotional charge gave life to the lyrics.

"You bring out the mean in me"