all the stars

~ eight ~

I practically dragged my feet into school as I clutched my coffee as if it were the most precious thing in the world. The bell rang, announcing that Friday's classes start now. Or, more importantly, I'm late.

The week has been full of nightmares, lack of sleep, an overload of homework, no social activity. Yeah. it's been one of those. Hence the coffee! If I need caffeine to function, it's an emergency.

I rushed into class, uttering a quick apology to Mrs. Carmichael before taking my seat. Hayleigh doesn't even bother to look at me questioningly anymore, seems how every morning has been the same all week. Tyrone looks a bit worried, but doesnt voice anything. I've probably blown my "friends" position with them by acting like this. Duke has steered clear of me, but then I remember saying I'd go see the match tomorrow. Stupid! I felt like smacking my forehead.

I finally release my death grip on my coffee and set it down as I rub my makeup-free face. Whether I had a headache or was trying too late to revive my facial features, I don't really know anymore.

I realized I wasn't really listening until something Mrs. Carmichael said struck panic through me.

"Today is the day that I said I would be choosing partners for the big project coming up. And everybody can guess who I struggled with the most." She said, laughing. "Hayleigh, you are quite the social butterfly and know literally EVERYBODY so I'm lucky I was able to find you a partner."

This earned a few laughs from Hayleigh and some other people, but I couldn't care less. I just hope I could get the most random person in this school. Not Hayleigh, not Tyrone, not Macey, not-

"Alright, here are the pairs, listen carefully. I don't want to have to repeat it a million times. Okay, so Hayleigh is to be partnered with Julie. Tyrone with Lillian. Xander with Andrew. Macey with Miles..." And the list went on and on with names from five different classes. I know that she didn't put any of these in alphabetical order or I would've been up first. The anxiety it gave me waiting for her to say my name was insurmountable.

"... and Asteria and Duke!"

That's it.

The whole universe is against me.

Hates me even.

It took everything in my being to not chuck my coffee at her and force her to switch me with someone else. So instead I put on my best show smile, trying not to look like I was gritting my teeth. One of my really bad habits.

The good thing about me being in first period is that Duke doesnt even know about our pairing yet, right? So that means I have time to run to my car, drive home, wait for my parents to get out of work, force them with whatever means necessary to let me drop out and switch schools, or even better yet, just drop out of school altogether! Who needs it anyways?

When the bell finally rang, I packed up my notebook and took off as fast as possible before I had anymore psychotic ideas. You'll be okay, Asteria. You always are. It's only for what, a month? A month!? I screech to a halt, the voices in my head over powering.

Before I decided to have a mental breakdown in the hallway, I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I paced in the small space provided, which mainly consisted of spinning in circles. This is pathetic, Asteria. You seriously need to pull it together! You can't stay away from guys forever. They will always be in your life. Especially this one it seems. Yeah, the universe really does hate me.

I would have screamed into my hands if this bathroom wasn't a public one.

Wow, I really am pathetic.

I finally decided to exit the stall and walked to the sink to splash some water on my face. I smoothed out my hair and braided it down my back. I neglected it way too much this morning in my hysteria. I rubbed my cheeks a little bit to bring some color back that I'm sure I had lost the moment the teacher announced my partner. Duke. He doesn't seem like the worst guy, but I can't afford to think like that. This is a school project. It's not like we're gonna be deep and personal with each other. We'll be fine, I'll fine.