love finds its way

Chapter 9

                    I woke up to my phone buzzing on my hood i passout on the grass i must have fallen at one point because i had a long scratch on my arm, groaning as i got up i grabbed my phone turning off my alrms seeing some texted from my mom. Mostly just her saying i better come home before she calls the cops to come find me but i knew she was bluffing because she knew deep down she was in the wrong i didnt get an apology from her till i was about 28 but thats another story for later on in this book. Seeing a text from Zake asking if i was ok was a shock i ignored it getting in my car i grabbed a water bottle taking a few drinks from it hoping itd calm my stomach down a little before starting my car up and driving away i stopped at a gas station grabbing a coffee and another water bottle paying for it i opened it once i got in the car chugging some of it before dumping it out and replacing it with some vodka. I debating going to Jace's seeing as the last time we talked we got into a fight but i had no one else i still was mad at Cheyenne for the whole egging of Zake's house thing and she was a last resort so i signing driving off to Jace's hoping he was home.

Pulling up his car was in the driveway so that was a good sign i guess i walked up to the door signing again and knocking after a few mintues Jace opened the door "Mia what are you doing here?" he leaned against the door not letting me in yet, i sighed spilling it all out "I have no where to go or stay my moms dating Rich again and has him staying at the house and i cant be around him it was awlful Jace she called me a liar saying that i weaved a lie in my head about him and he hasnt done anything to me and i just cant Jace god the way he looked at me when she called me a liar it was like a look of victory and i know if i stay there hell try again hell go back to doing what he used to and i cant Jace i cant" i was sobbing by the end.
He grabbing me pulling me into his arms hugging me a shushing my trying to comfort me but the only thing i could think about was how i wished it was Zake's arms Jace's hug was to tight and to rough he held me like he was trying to break me, it was just all wrong oh what a scary thought it was at the time and it still is to want someone like that to wish anothers arms was his. But despite that i hugged Jace back right now comfort was comfort and i needed some unfortunately i didnt want to be soft i wanted this shit not to affect me i wanted to turn it all off i wanted to go numb and let my rage take over again i wanted to feel alive i didnt want to feel this shitty sinking feeling anymore. Jace guided me to his couch sitting me down i uncapped my water bottle taking a few drinks from it and shakingly put it on the table "I'm sorry Mia i was mad at you and didnt want to talk to you im sorry i havent been there for you" i shook my head taking a breath before speaking to him "It's not your fault you shouldnt have to be at my every bech and call i'm sorry i was so fucking rude to you and pushed you away i just am tired im tired of feeling this way im tired of this fucking constant sinking feeling of drowning with no one to pull me out i want to feel alive i want it all to go away i want to make it go away" looking at him i did the only thing i could think of to make it go away for now and i kissed him it got heated pretty quickly and i finally forgot everything for a while.

We laid in his bed in silence just enjoying the warmth of one another till i got the idea boy was it a stupid idea but i had to do it if i wanted to feel alive in the moment i needed to do this "Let's go to Jimmy's" i said getting up to put my clothes on "Jimmy's? Why Jimmy's?" i shrugged putting my pants on "I need a good fight im out of shape and ill probably get my ass kicked right now but i want to" i put my bra on clasping it then walking over to his dresser to find a shirt settling on a Motley crue shirt "Maybe it isnt the best idea then" Jace finally sat up saying "You can either go with me or not i dont really care" i sat back on the bed to slip my shoes on. "Fine give me a minute" nodding i walked out of the room and downstairs to grab my bottle taking a few chug's of it i lost my buzz after sex wandering in the kitchen i grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl eating it while drinking what was left in the  bottle.