Imagine this...

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Imagine....
You've just got home from another rough day of school. Another day of being told to go kill yourself, that you're not wanted, a waste of space. You sit on the end of your bed debating to yourself whether or not you should take you own life. You think about your family, how they would feel if you did.

'They don't love you, they wouldn't care if you died'

The little voice in your head says. Your mum and dad don't get home until late and your sister is staying over her friends house. Still deciding you walk through to your bathroom and just stare at your reflection.

"Ugly"
"Fat"
"Disgusting"

Those same words screamed at your face by your so called 'friends' replay through your mind on a loop. Thinking back to every time you've failed at something that you've tried to achieve, but all you have achieved is disappointment. Disappointment from your family, your friends and disappointment from yourself. Everyday you manage to survive another day but you know that your time is nearly up. You can't take this cruel world anymore. You open the second draw down and pull out a bottle full of pills and pour two out of it. But no matter how many pills you take, nothing can suppress the pain that you feel every minute of every day. You put the pills in your mouth and turn the tap on, scooping the cold water from the tap into your mouth. Just as you pass the threshold to your room, your phone goes off...a text? You rush over and unlock the screen to reveal a message sent from someone that is in your class.

"Loner, go kill yourself, you can't do anything right, nobody wants you here, just do the world a favour and slit your wrists or something!"

Tears roll down your face as your legs collapse beneath you. Your body crashing down to the hard floor. Your sobs filling the silence throughout your room. The more you think about it the worse you feel. For a split second you feel a small strip of hope, hope that you aren't what people say you are, hope that you are important to someone but your slight happiness was ruined by another text...

"Haha you're such an idiot, who would want you?! I feel sorry for your parents, they have to deal with a kid like you! Go die!"

At that moment, you've had enough. You pull yourself up from the ground and grab your razors hidden under your bed. You drag the small silver piece of metal against your fragile skin creating red lines, trickling with blood. Not one cut, not two nor three you keep going until you're satisfied, you know you deserve this. You wipe away the blood from your arm with your tear stained shirt. Now the other arm, again creating small but deep cuts. The more you cut the less pain you feel. You long for your life to be over, but some how you have survived but you know it's not going to be like that this time, you're over it, you're done. Done with people. Done with school. Done with Life.

You move on to your thighs, thinking about the things that people have said to and about you, wondering if what they said was true. You stop for a brief second and run to the bathroom again. You grab the pills and run back to your room. You also grab a pen and paper along the way. You throw the pill bottle on your bed and start writing your suicide note:

To mum and dad,

I'm sorry that you have to see this.
But I was given no choice.
I was hoping that it wouldn't come to this for your sake.
But I've tried to tell you how I felt before many times but each time you brushed it off.
I've been holding on for too long and now I've slipped and fallen.
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.
But know that I will always love you even in death.

Love (random name)
Xoxo

Written with messy handwriting from your shaky hands, you realise how real this is. You look around at the family photos and remember the old happy times you had but that was all ruined by your best friend, depression.

You place the note on the table next to your bed and open the bottle of pills and pour them into your hand, putting as many of them in your mouth at a time, you swallow them down with the help of some water and lay down on your bed.

You think about the moment your parents walk through the door to see their child that they raised lay there with the empty pill bottle next to your hand and the patch of water on the floor from the water bottle. Thinking of their face when they read the note you left them, realising that they were too busy too save their own child from their own mind. Your thoughts switch to your sister, the person that looked up to you, the person that tried to comfort you with weird silly faces and stupid jokes when they knew you were sad. You just hope that she doesn't end up like you.

As you take your final breathes your life flashes right in front of your eyes like a dream. All the feelings you've ever felt rush through you, all the memories you've created flash like a movie and for a moment you feel regret, regret of taking your own life because now you realise that you've let the world get to you, you've let it drag you down and now there is nothing that will take back what you just did.

The feeling of regret is quickly replaced by silence. You're vision is now blurry and you feel numb, now complete darkness for the life has left your body.

Several hours have passed and your parents have returned with your sister because her friends has had an accident. Your parents call out your name but don't hear a response they think you're just asleep so they tell your sister to check on you.

Your sister walked up the stairs and into your room, she calls your name but you don't answer, she walks closer to you and finds the empty bottle of anti-depressants. She starts to cry and screams out for your parents. They come running to see your laying there, dead. But you look normal, you look as if you were just sleeping. Your dad takes the pill bottle from your sister and looks at it closely he also finds the water bottle on the floor.

"Oh my god" Your dad sobs to your mother.

Your mum is screaming you name, she can't handle it she drops to the floor staring at your lifeless body screaming why, she blames herself for not listening to you. She picks herself up and sits next to you holding your hands silently asking you why you did this.

You sister ran to her room and locked herself in, crying continuously, her mind still trying to process what just happened she is sobbing uncontrollably. After a few minutes she spots a picture of you and her together and just stares at it wishing that you didn't take your own life.

Your father is trying to stay strong for the family, for you. He is trying to calm your mother down but it's not working he calls an ambulance and your body is taken away.

Now your mother is in a state of depression, your sister now self harms and gets bullied and your father, he has started drinking his pain away but they all know that they will have to move on sooner or later they are just choosing later.

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(A/N): Please don't kill yourself😥, when you feel like nobody loves you just look at what you love❤️There is always someone that loves you. If you kill yourself it will effect so many things but most importantly it will effect your family😖. Your family loves you no matter what they say or do. Stay strong💪, you'll get through it.😊☺️

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