Short Stories for Black Women

|| j a d e ||

jade

Sometimes I would catch him looking at other women while we were out or I would see he liked a girl's picture on Twitter. I would always write it off and tell myself that he was allowed to be attracted to other people, that as long as he didn't act on it then it was fine.

Sometimes I would compare our relationship to my sister's marriage. Her husband only saw her, he worshiped the ground she walked on, and every breath he took, each dollar he made, his entire existence revolved around her and their kids. I knew that was what I wanted but I wasn't sure I could have that with Gio.

My sister lived in Oregon, she was the only family I had left but I moved out to Cali to be with Gio.

"Well relationships take work," my sister would tell me when I would voice my concerns. I would never tell her the entirety of it all, she would tell me to leave him. Looking back at it, I can't believe I didn't leave sooner.

You live and you learn and I'm glad I left when I did.

It was a Tuesday. Around 2pm, I had gone to the library to focus on work but I finished earlier than expected. I wanted to pick up some things for Gio who had told me that morning he was feeling sick. I went by Trader Joe's to get him some soup and checked his location to make sure he was home before heading over.

When I initially told people what had happened, they would look at me like I was dumb, like they saw it coming. I felt like everyone but I knew it would happen eventually. I guess that's what love mixed with insecurity does to you. It blinds you.

I remember the front door being open but I wasn't too concerned because his car was parked out front so I figured he had just forgotten to lock it. We lived in a safe neighborhood so he could afford to do that.

I walked in and the music upstairs was blasting and I laughed to myself. I creaked the door open and my hand flew to my mouth. My boyfriend of 3 years had another girl on top of him...riding him, moaning his name, and he was enjoying it. I stood there for about two minutes before I wiped my tears and went back downstairs. I left the soup on the counter and left.

About an hour later he was blowing up my phone, I read everything he sent and I listened to every voicemail he left. With everything in me I wanted to respond, I wanted to scream and cry to him, I wanted him to hold me and promise me he would never do it ever again.

"You're coming back out here to me," my sister told me over the phone as I sobbed "I'm getting a ticket right now and I'm coming to get you".

Her husband and she came the next day and we went to the house while Gio was at work to get my things. We only got the things I'd absolutely need. I posted any furniture I had paid for on the Facebook market and sold most of it.

We packed all my belongings into 3 suitcases and we headed to Oregon. I wasn't on the lease so it was easy for me to leave and my job was remote so everything worked out perfectly.

My sister had to force me to eat and I had to force myself to work for weeks. I felt so stupid and so drained, I never wanted to feel like that ever again. I stalked his social media and kept tabs on how he was doing. At the time I thought the things he was posting were genuine, but the shit he was tweeting and his posts on Instagram was purely performative. It was almost like he knew I was watching and wanted me to feel bad for leaving.

I was determined to heal, I was tired of all the crying, barely eating, my room was a mess and my mind wasn't any better. I wish I could've erased him from my memory. It was my first real heartbreak at the hands of a man and I honestly wasn't sure how to handle it.

I was out grocery shopping with one of my nephews and I heard someone say my name. At first, I ignored it because I was sure I heard incorrectly until they said it again.