itbomm

chapter 19: everything's kind of complicated

A/N: Please refrain from making guesses on the names in the [] during Athanase's flashbacks because not every character in this story has been introduced yet and it's meant to show that Athan doesn't know that very detail.

I will be deleting comments on those stating what the [blanks] are meant to be, unless the commenter explicitly states that it's a speculation on what's being said. I will not be confirming or denying anything as it'll be clarified within the story itself, and it's simply a means of preventing further misunderstanding for the time being.

I understand that things may seem confusing right now, but Athan's memories are directly tied to the story progression, hence why there are recurring quotes.

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Asking Felix goes as well as he expects.

While Felix did agree that it would be dangerous to leave Obelia just to observe the Hunting Competition, and he wasn't very eager to allow Athan to see blood so early in his life, which amused Athan to no end — he's seen more blood than anyone would ever expect, especially when he was born a girl in his second life.

.

(An image of blood seeping into concrete briefly flickers in his mind, a dainty and slender hand stained in blood splatter, the image of a man murmuring words as he coughs up blood.

He saw the images disappearing so quickly that it made him wonder if he truly ever saw such a sight.

Athanase ignores the unsettling imagery.)

.

However, the difference between Claude and Felix was that Felix was much more open-minded and sociable. In fact, he very much advocated for him and his sister to have friends and be allowed to interact with other children their age, and he continues to do so even to this day. His sister didn't care much for leaving Obelia to see Arlanta, so it seemed obvious that Felix would end up accompanying Athan if they were to leave.

His father still didn't want him to go, so it was only a matter of wearing him down.

On one hand, Athanase was relieved that he'll be able to leave with the delegation to Arlanta (ignoring his father's displeasure in letting him leave and the fact that he still doesn't have permission to go), but on the other hand, he felt a bit disappointed in the fact that Felix didn't explicitly choose him over his sister.

.

("I'll always protect you.")

. . .

In the end, it was better this way, he thinks, because he doesn't know whether or not he would be happy to know the answer.

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'Why do I have to accompany you to the Milford Family's Estate?' Verena thought, sitting across from him in the carriage. Felix was sitting beside him, a nervous smile on his face as Verena adamantly avoided making eye contact with the knight in question. 'You don't need me!'

The three of them were heading to Marquess Milford's Estate — probably because he voiced his desire to leave the palace grounds. Perhaps his father was hoping that this would get him to drop the topic, thinking he would get sick of being inside a carriage?

Well, Athan supposes that he'll have to persistently bother his father about it later, once his father grew accustomed to Athan being gone once every day or so.

'You're just sulking because Felix is here as my guard and chaperone,' he flatly thought back to Autumn.

'I had a plan, my dear, a long-term plan,' Verena returned his flat look with a pout. 'If I'm gonna be trying to marry the Duke, how could I possibly let his son know I have a thing for older men and women? What if it turns into a situation where my future stepson hates me?!'