The war between our hearts

8- Bread

Atlas POV

She woke up before me.  Her bed was empty.  I ate breakfast in silence.  I like it.  When she arrives, the silence becomes unbearable.  I don't know how she has that effect that her silence is getting on my nerves. 

"How did you sleep?" I ask.

Why did I do that?  Who cares?  I don't but I still want to know.

She chuckles.  "I slept great.  I feel so over the moon that I am now engaged and that my business is at cost and that Matt's brother, who hates me knows what to threaten me with.  So yes, I slept amazingly." 

I frowned slightly.  "I don't hate you."

Why did I say that?

She also looked like she wondered it.  I didn't give her an answer and got up.  "Did you eat?"  She nodded.  I then took my things and waited for her at the door.  I grab an apple and slide it in my pocket. 

"Where are we going?" She asks.  Right, we weren't going yet to her parents' house.  We still had a few hours before that.  "I have no clue.  But I don't intend to stay in that hotel all day, you?" 

She shakes her head and follows after me.  In fact I knew exactly where I wanted to go.  Yesterday I'd found a spot where it was empty. 

Amazing, right?

I knew that she would roll her eyes at me but did I care?  No.  Not even a single but.  She loved getting on my nerves and I was simply indifferent.  Life sucked and I wouldn't start comforting her over a small shit moment in her life. 

"My life has had worse, you know?  It's not this.  This is like the least bad thing they've ever done, except sign the emancipation papers."  I looked over at her and met her stare. 

"And what was the worst?" She chuckled.  "You don't like to share your thoughts, I don't like to share my past.  Just because you saw me once break down doesn't mean I'll open up to you."

I nod.  I switch the subject.  "What's a numb day?"  She tenses and turns to me.  "How do you know that?" 

I grin.  "I asked first." 

She sighed.  Maybe it would get something off her chest.  "A numb day is a day where I don't feel anything.  My thoughts and actions are empty.  I ghost everyone and I don't feel like living anymore.  In other words, a bad day.  But it's not the same thing."

I nodded, motioning her to continue explaining.  "A bad day is what everybody gets in their life.  You have a shitty day and you're stressed or angry or frustrated like if you made a mistake at work.  My numb day is when I can't get stressed, or angry or frustrated, I feel nothing.  My thoughts are empty."

I nod, I've never heard anyone with such thoughts and problems.  She seems more relaxed all a sudden.  I decide to try to take something off my chest as well. 

"My mother is dead.  My father and my brother suffered the most since they knew her the most.  But I really was traumatized and that's why people don't know much about me.  I still have to go to therapy every week."

She grins at me and our eyes lock for a few seconds.  "How many times did you skip?"  I scoff, offended.  She stares at me with a smirk and I roll my eyes. 

"29 times.  Not including this week." 

"And why doesn't your therapist say anything?"  I stare at her questioningly.  "It's obvious your father would make you go.  Why doesn't he know?"