love conquers all | kirisuna

Chapter XX - She is love

  It all started when thoughts of her invaded my mind and refused to leave. It all started when my curiosity was piqued. When you think of something so much, you're most likely to want it or become obsessed with it. And that's what happened.

My eyes longed to see her, my ears begged to hear her voice, and my heart didn't even bother concealing the yearning that she was close by.

I closed my eyes. I had never thought of falling in love. Not because it never crossed my mind, but because I saw how it broke people. Love is powerful. It's almost like a deception. Like a sword with two edges. Just as it brings life, it kills. Because you fall, and falling isn't good—even if it was falling in love.

Love is everything. Love is courage, love is joy, and love is pleasure; love is fear, love is sadness, and love is pain. It's giving, but also sacrificing.

I saw her even if my eyes were closed. I open them only to make me want to close them again. I like how she is in my memory. She's bright, she's beautiful, she's everything—she's love.

She was in small details, then she was everywhere.

It's consuming me.

She's consuming me.

It's everywhere.

She's everywhere.

And it's driving me crazy.

She is driving me crazy.

I wouldn't believe it really does if I wasn't put in a situation where I had to run desperately. Here I am again, wanting, dying, begging to be with her.

I stopped running. I thought maybe I shouldn't have done it. Maybe I shouldn't have written a note that says that I'm standing in the place where we first met, tied it on a pigeon's leg and sent it to her. Maybe I truly have gone crazy.

As much as love is painful, love is medicine. She heals me, even if it was just a look from far away. As my life drains from my body, she fills me with it. She makes me feel alive, even without knowing it.

"Asuna."

Smiling, I whispered her name as soon as she entered my view.

Her face was contorted with concern; it didn't match the beautiful golden light from the setting sun touching her face but she was still beautiful nonetheless. "Kirito, is everything okay?" she asked worriedly.

"Y-yeah, I just...I..." I didn't know what to say. I missed you. "...just wanted to see you...before I leave." I think I smiled. I don't know, I wasn't sure. I was too occupied taking in every expression she made to be aware of what I was doing.

She tilted her head a bit. She didn't smile and eyed me with curiosity.

"You're leaving?" I wasn't certain what kind of expression she made next. Her eyebrows lowered and were pulled closer together. Is she sad? Was it because I'm leaving? I want to know what she's thinking. I just want to know. So bad.

As enthralling as it was, always thinking of you, it's just as daunting when I ponder whether you also think of me just as much.

Asuna smiled. "I heard you were leading the delegation."

"Yeah, I managed to find my way in," I replied with a chuckle.

There was a long pause, but it wasn't filled with an awkward silence. Her lips were curved upwards and her eyes were gentle; she was happy.

It had been fifteen days since I last saw her, and fifteen days was all it took to drive me to the edge. I was the first to break the silence. "It's cold in Aincrad around this time, so make sure to wear something warm."