Just!

Relieve the Stress

It was the 31st of October. The night where all the spooky monsters come out to play: Santa claws, the boogie man, and worst of all Mr. Dobson. I did my usual nightly routine, consisting of brushing my teeth and having a shower. However, I forgot one thing… I forgot to go to the toilet. As I laid in bed on that bright, cloudy night, I felt something. I felt a little tingle. I tried to fall asleep. I tried everything. From counting sheep to thinking of Lisa (Although that didn’t help me fall asleep), playing chess, and even going for a run! But I still couldn’t get rid of that tingly sensation from in between my legs. It grew stronger and stronger by the minute, by the second even! I knew my time was close and I would have to relieve the immense pressure. I knew that if there was anyone that could do it, it would be Andy Griffiths. I stepped outside and saw my target. Riddled past the veggie patch and even the assorted weeds, was the dunny. Now, the dunny was only 5 metres away, but it looked like 5 kilometres. I felt a cold touch on my shoulders and immediately turned around. In the moonlight a tall dementor like figure wearing dad’s old straw hat towered over me. He had no visible legs, but instead hovered above the middle of the veggie patch. I juked him and ran back inside, straight into bed and under the covers, jumping onto my bed to ensure no monsters could grab me from underneath my bed. I was petrified, but still managed to go to bed. The next day, I felt no tingle, instead it was replaced by a sharp and intolerable pain. I tried to go to the toilet but couldn’t. My pain was unbearable as I got dressed for school. As I arrived at school, I felt like I was dying. I spotted Danny out of the corner of my eye and did a stiff run towards him. “Last night I forgot to go to the toilet and then a monster touched me so I ran back inside and now I can’t go to the toilet and it hurts” I burst out, wishing the same would happen to my waste. Danny laughed. He laughed harder than my jokes in front of the class made him laugh. He started crying with laughter. “It’s not at all funny Danny!” I said, pleadingly. He continued to laugh. “Sorry Andy, I just can’t …” “Hey Andy, hey Danny” Lisa said. The Lisa Mackney! The hottest girl in year 5. I looked her dead in the eye “This is no time for jokes Lisa” I said sternly “I am currently suffering from a life threatening emergency” “Oh no Andy what’s happened” Lisa replied, but I couldn’t suffer anymore. I stiff sprinted over to the school nurse. “Bumped your head again?” She asked. “No, I think I might die soon” I confessed “I cannot pee, and it hurts”. “Here, drink some water and in maybe ten or fifteen minutes you’ll be able to go” She told me, “Trust me, I had this problem a lot growing up” she added, with a witchlike wink. I drank my water and thanked the nurse. “How is it feeling?” asked Danny. “I’ll be able to go soon” I replied confidently. As the bell rang to go to class, I was informed that we had to present our projects on Namibia. Danny and I hadn’t even started it. Mr. Dobson lined us all up and gave us the running order. We were second, behind Lisa, meaning that we would have to sit at the front. Danny and I were discussing excuses when it became time for Lisa to present. “Namibia is a country in Africa” She began with. As she was presenting her introduction, it happened. My pee leapt across the front of the classroom and onto Lisa’s sheet of paper. I then locked on to something else, Mr. Dobson. He struggled to make words as he tried to avoid the streams of pee hitting his face, like a warm shower on a cold winter’s night. This sequence carried on for a few minutes, before I stopped.

I looked at Danny, both joyfully grinning and said, “Now we don’t have to present our project!”