Dear Diary,
It's been about a month since Rowan and I broke up. We had spent all of junior year together and the summer was a blast. Well...except the end of it. Rowan broke up with me because he said
"I can't go on like this." and walked away.
Like what the hell does that mean? But he turned around and left right after so I couldn't ask him why. And that is the thing that is driving me crazy because I don't know the real reason.
My therapist was a really good listener because she just nodded her head when I went on and on like this. My mom thought it would be good to hire a therapist for me because of all my issues. It's probably because she's done with me complaining to her about him everyday when I get home from whatever.
It really sucks for me because when I got home from therapy, I was really craving ice cream. But I know Rowan still works at the local ice cream shop even after he was able to pay rent again and move out.
He spent almost half the year staying at my house and my mom gave him the guest room. What she doesn't know is that every night Rowan or I would sneak into each other's room and talk or well, kiss. We didn't really have much time to do that during the day because we're either in public or my mom is watching us 24/7 and I haven't come out to the school yet so we don't have any alone time then either.
I smiled at the thought of the good times I had with Rowan but my smile faded when I replayed the break up in my head, over and over again.
"So, when does school start again?" my therapist, Tina, asked.
"Next week." I grumbled and stared at the ground. I wondered if Rowan would be in my homeroom again. I mean, that would be a little awkward and stuff.
Ugh, hell has finally come! I haven't talked to or seen Rowan in 2 weeks and those two weeks have been very depressing. I practically cried all day until my mom forced me to move on with my life.
I remember the first day of school last year when Rowan came running toward me. But when I walked through the doors of Freeman high there was no one running to me and calling my name. I looked at my schedule and my homeroom teacher is on the top floor. I whined while looking at the staircase that looked like it went on forever.
Out of breath I thought of where I was going to sit.
The board said "Sit anywhere you want! Ps. It's going to be where you sit for the REST OF THE YEAR!!!"
On the first day of school last year, Mr. Sus didn't let us sit where we wanted. I giggled at the name Ms. Sus and the people in the class turned to look at me standing in the doorway of the classroom.
My face turns red and I quickly look down, walking to a desk near the window where the sun is shining on you, just like last year.
I stare at the doorway, a boy walks in wearing a white polo shirt and dark blue jeans. A strand of black hair falls between his eyes, his emerald eyes. He looked like the guy every girl would fall in head over heels for.
My eyes widened and I tried not to look so noticeable when I studied him. He looked around and spotted me. Our eyes met for a second before he walked to a desk diagonally from mine. A couple of girls a few desks behind him laughed quietly and whispered to each other, pointing at him.
At my angle I could see that he was trying not to laugh or smirk but he rolled his eyes like this happens every day.
My gaze was interrupted with the sound of books dropping on the floor. I turned to see another boy standing at the doorway and smiling sheepishly. Rowan quickly picked up his books and looked up, meeting my eyes. Dang, RIght at me!
I could see his jaw clenched and he gave me a hateful stare. Wait...did he hate me? Rowan walked to a desk in the back and started doodling in his notebook. I knew him long enough that he doodles when he is nervous or stressed.
I knew Rowan tried not to glance at me but instead he glanced at the other guy. I started at Rowan as he studied the new boy and raised his eyebrows, obviously interested.
The bell rang and the teacher walked, writing her name on the board.
The bell rang again. I stood up slowly watching the new boy pack up his stuff.
I heard a side conversation next to my locker when I was grabbing the stuff I needed for my next class.
"O-M-G, Kris! Isn't the new boy so hot!" A brown haired girl squealed to her friend. "His name is Alex," she added.
They were the girls in my homeroom who were pointing at the new boy.
"I know, I might ask him out tomorrow." The other blonde girl said and opened her locker to put on lip gloss.
The brown haired girl sighed, "yeah but I'm pretty sure he's gay though."
"What?" the blonde girl demanded.
"Yeah, that's what I heard because another girl asked him out today and he said no because he doesn't like girls."
The blonde girl scowled and slammed her locker.
I smirked into my locker. What are the chances that a boy like that is gay? I tried not to jump in excitement until I remembered...I have some competition.
