The Twins

Chapter Eighteen: What Am I Feeling?

Shylo is the most beautiful carefree person I have ever met. She does everything like it's going to be the last time she ever does anything. It makes me smile everytime i look at her. I say this now as I'm standing next to Sophia watching the girl spin freely in the woods without a care in the world right now. "I miss you, you know?" ouch. She wants to go there. "You're the one that left. You coulda stay with us, with me. I miss you too." I let it spill along with the tears from my eyes. Shylo who was headed over to us sees them and hesitates at the fire. I mouth the words thank you and she nods in response. "I wanted to tell you I love you kate. I should have said it before you left. But I was scared. I want a life with you." "I want that too Sophia but it's a little too short and a little too late." I sigh watching Shylo as she's started dancing again. "I find myself thinking of someone else these days." I say as I watch her intently. "Does she know how you feel?" Sophia asks with just a whisper. "Maybe she could one day. I wish that I was good enough." I exhale the breath I've been holding this whole conversation. "Does she know the effect she has on you?" she asks. "Do you know the effect you used to have on me?" I counter hoping she'll get the hint to drop it. But she doesn't. "Well does she?" "no. she doesn't." I answer clenching my fist as I feel this cry threatening to spill again. Maybe I could tell her how I feel. Maybe if I do tell her, maybe, just maybe, she'll leave me like everyone else. "I don't know if I'm ready to tell her." I say calmly. "You know you have to tell her sooner than later Kate, if you wait too long you might lose her as I have you." does she know the pain it brings to hear that comment as clear as day? It burns. Maybe even scars. She doesn't know, neither does she care, she's just speaking her truth, so why should she. I lose control letting the tears fall. They burn to the drop. My cheeks flushing at the thought of what i must look like right now. Walking over to Shylo ignoring Sophia's protests i wrap my arms around her kissing her on the cheek, i hope she's ok with that. I mean she didn't pull away. Could she be my harden scott? I hope so. I'd be her tessa any day of the week. She caresses the back of my hand sitting firmly on her waist. This woman meant enough to me that she could rope me with her worst intentions, and i would let it happen. I'm not letting go. Not again. I whisper words of good luck to Sophia as she begins to leave for her trip home. Her wishing me the best with Shylo when i tell her. We both thank each other and then she is on her way. It pains me to see her leave again, but ill be ok. I have Shylo.

Shylo's Point of View

I was ready for the dress comments from them, what I wasn't ready for was Kate's silence. It shocked me when I found out she liked me too, I mean someone was actually attracted to me. That's new. She was better with her emotion back on. It wasn't hard to tell they were off when I met her, she cried a lot when they were turned back on by force. She definitely had issues, but who didn't at this point? At this point if you didn't have them you would by the age of eighteen. It was a well adapted issue at this time. In general i dont mind her issues, if she wants to turn her emotions off and fuck shit up, im down. If she wants a real relationship, I'm down for that too. But I won't be used for my body. Good thing I don't get those vibes from her. Especially with the way she watches me, I've been bored and spinning in circles for a while now. Every now and then when I look up I catch her beautiful round eyes watching me. My eyes turning colors in the light catching hers daringly in the shadows, how romantic I think to myself. She really is cute in her own way, and I think I don't really know what I'm feeling, but they are good feelings. I like the way I feel when I'm with her. I like the way she looks at me while everyone else is clueless to it, well maybe not Nat, she seems perceptive. Maybe she knows something, I don't know what she thinks she knows for sure, but maybe. Afterall the heart wants what it wants. And Kate is what mine wants. I don't know what she wants, but I'm ok with riding along until I do. Kate seems to be this bottled up person at first glance, but when you take a moment and really pay attention to her, you'll notice she's a free soul trying to find its way to reality so it can help people. Which seems to be what she loves most is helping others, sure she can be a bitch when she wants but she's sincere. It's my initial appeal to her in all honesty. I look back at her hoping to catch her eyes once more when I realize she's begon spinning in circles with me. Shit she saw me looking, did she just smile at me? She grabs my hand, our fingers interlocking, she begins to spin using vamp speed. This should be an almost uncontrollable speed to keep steady, yet she's holding us completely steady. I look up at her in amazement and awe. I push my feet hard into the ground bringing us both to a complete stop. Reaching up I tuck a piece of free hair behind her ear, leaning forward I bring my face even with hers and leaning in for a kiss, our lips meet in the middle, her kissing me just as passionately as I am her. I never want to let go of this moment, even if she's not my forever, the feeling is unreal. Almost out of this world. Yes i relieved her last night, but that was just for fun, this was real. Really real.