Diabolical: The green-eyed monster

Chapter 12

Marcus tried but couldn't block the images forming in his mind. The harder he tried to fight it the clearer it became. For years he tried to run away from his past but no matter what he did the thoughts always came back. The violence and the drugs helped him to block it but tonight none of it was the remedy. Seeing Rose sprawled on the floor at his mercy had an effect on him he didn't think possible. He didn't feel sorry for her but he felt sorry for himself. He'd hated his father with a passion for a very long time but he'd turned into the monster he was. Worse even. He and his brother had gone down the rabbit hole and there was no getting back up. Why hadn't he killed Rose? He'd killed before many times but something about Rose made it feel wrong. He was aggressive by nature and couldn't feel normal emotions like everyone else. He enjoyed being sadistic and he loved it when women whimpered and begged him to stop hurting them. He liked to see their bodies bloody, beaten and bruised. He reveled in it. Each and every time the memories assaulted him but it made him more vicious. Rose on the other hand wasn't like the others. She was afraid that much he knew but she didn't beg him because deep down she knew she was done for. There was no avoiding the inevitable. His father was an alcoholic and he was abusive. He and his brother lived in constant fear and never retaliated. His mother had accepted her fate. She'd made a mistake by marrying the drunk bastard but she couldn't up and leave because Tom had threatened to take away her boys if she tried anything. She stayed for them. She could've left and started a new life somewhere with another man but she couldn't abandon her children. She loved them too much. She'd always tell them that one day things would get better that the nightmare would be over and they'd live happily ever after. And it would've be so if he hadn't hesitated. He closed his eyes and watched in his mind eye his father beating his mother to a pulp. The look in her eyes told a story of a woman who'd loved so much and had gotten so little in return. She surrendered to her fate, she didn't struggle and didn't cry because she'd spent her whole life crying. She took the hits one by one and he stood there like a dummy holding the gun. His hands were shaking and the tears were blurring his vision. "Stop or I'll shot" his father chuckled "Look at that pathetic weakling you call a son. Look at him you stupid whore. He can't even pull the trigger to save your life. Look at the shit you wanted to protect. Look at it" He slammed her head on the floor but by then the breath had left her body. Thirteen year old Marcus was heartbroken but his feelings couldn't bring her back, he fired the gun but even as his father took his dying breathe he antagonized him "You...you failed her" those words were burned onto his memory and governed every decision he made. He wanted to but couldn't bring himself to hurt Rose any longer because the more he assaulted her the more the image of his mother became clearer in his mind. It was as if he was assaulting her. In a way it was his fault that she'd died and he was never going to forgive himself for it.

The brandy was on the coffee table untouched, he wasn't in the mood for it. He wasn't in the mood for anything. He didn't care about anything or anyone anymore. He just wanted the pain to end. The .22-caliber pistol on the table was calling his name. This time he heeded its call.