Between Illusion and Erasure

Retroactive damage

Tw|| Deadnaming, fighting, fainting, withdrawal symptoms. 

Beta read and edited by Slipsy_ (CallMeCase) 

It was the right choice, you were sure of it by the morning, mainly because you spent the night going over it again — that part wasn't Yamada's fault by any means, even if he did snore. You couldn't help but go over every word spoken that afternoon, every movement made, and tone implied. There was no way you'd gotten anything over two hours of sleep.

Yamada spent a good part of the breakfast you didn't eat trying to convince you to take a sick day, but work was the way you knew how to keep balance. Your routine had become important to you, being the one last piece of control you felt like you had over your life. He was fighting a losing battle, and you knew he could tell.

But, having him sleepover did have its benefits, like a ride to the campus in his fancy vintage car, even if his hair did hit the ceiling and the songs were burned in an old CD — you had no idea where, in this day and age, he had found CD's to burn in the first place.

When you finally showed your faces in the teacher's lounge, it was later than usual. The weirdness didn't end there, though, Aizawa was awake. Outside his cocoon, second time this week. Something was surely wrong.

"Morning," he waved without much care, only peeking through his hair. "Everything alright?"

You only nodded, at this point, you had no energy for human communication. At least not this fast, you'd only been at the school for twenty minutes by now.. Not before some coffee and passive observing of the students coming by, screaming without much care by the halls early in the morning.

"Practical classes today," he directed his words at you, "Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yeah," you murmured, "Believe it or not, I can still do my job while looking like hot garbage."

"Pfft," you could catch a bit of a smile, hidden in between the scarf and his hands. "Rest a bit, we're still in fourth period."

"Hm..." Shifting your weight around, you started. "Hey could I..."

"No." He reiterated before you could finish, "You cannot borrow my sleeping bag."

"C'mon, just this once?"

"Over my dead body," He turned to look at you, "L/N."

You wanted to continue the bickering, but you had no energy – and the idea seemed sweet. After a night of tossing and turning, you made your way to the most hidden sofa at the lounge, observing from afar the staff going back and forth.

Midnight had made her away inside about three times before she noticed you, a bit of a worried expression when she waved at you, and her hands were carrying more paperwork than you had seen in your entire life. Eventually the chatter started becoming white noise, and your pupils felt heavier and heavier. The bright white light bouncing back from the windows had proved itself to be much better than the darkness of your room, weirdly enough.

Rest was a blessing not cast on you, and soon you were awoken by someone. It took you a moment to snap back to reality, you didn't feel rested, and the entire room looked empty. Like people had stopped existing only in the moment you had woken up. Once you had finally adjusted to the light, you realized that the little critter that had woken you up was Eri. She had a worried expression, tugging at your jacket lightly

"Eri?" You adjusted yourself on the couch, shifting a bit as you tried to wake up a bit faster, "What are you doing here, kiddo?"

"I can't find Mr. Aizawa." Her tone carried desperation in it, letting you know she'd probably already tried looking herself. Even though you had already figured out the room was empty, you gave it one last fruitless look, hoping he was just hidden behind a desk monitor or something. You tried to decipher the time, but the digits on the clock seemed to change around every time you tried to read them.