The boy & the brownies.

Eight

"You're a very pretty girl Chai." Says Oliver as I put the brownies on the table. I freeze at those words. My mother used to say that to me. I push back the tears and smile slightly.
"Whatever Oliver." I say as I walk back to the kitchen to make hot coco.
"I mean it Chai." He says.
"Okay, Oliver. Okay."
"Do you not believe me?" He asks, sounding almost worried. I grab the mugs and take a seat next to him.
"No."
"Then what?" He asks. I sigh.
"My mom used to say that to me. A lot." I whisper.
"And your mother was correct."
"You remind me so much of her." I say.
"How?" He asks. I almost want to laugh at that. But I don't.
"Well, for starters, my mother was almost always happy, like you. The obvious, she loved brownies." I say. He laughs.
"Umm, she like too see other people happy. She blamed a lot of stuff on herself. Um, she was nice, to everyone. She had a very pretty smile. She liked to watch football, which I found weird. She loved grape juice. She only ate eggs if they were poached. Sometimes she would cry by herself sometimes. When my dad was at work. I used too see her sitting in her room, crying. And one day I asked why and all she said was 'because sometimes you just need to cry'. At the time, I didn't get it. I do now." Eventually I was just listing things about her, not things she had in common with Oliver. A tear slips down my cheek and I furiously wipe it away.
"She sounds wonderful." Says Oliver.
"She was. In my eyes, she was perfect."
"I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry." He says. I nod.
"It shouldn't have been her." I mutter.
"Huh?" Asks Oliver.
"I should've died, not her." I say, more tears falling down my cheeks. In a second Oliver is balancing on his feet next to my chair, holding my hand. I look down at him.
"Don't ever say that again." He says sternly. He almost looks, upset.
"This world would probably be better without me." I say. A tear falls from his cheeks, and another.
"Please, please, don't say that Chai. Who cares about the world! What about me?!" He shouts more tears escaping his eyes.
"I NEED YOU CHAI! I need someone to make me brownies at 3 o'clock in the morning. I need someone to go skateboarding with. I need someone to tell me it wasn't my fault my sister died. I need you chai. I need you!" He exclaims, sobs escaping his lips.
"Chai, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me." He whispers. And I hold him. And he holds me. And we were one crying and sobbing mess. But we were a crying and sobbing mess together.

I lie down on my bed. Oliver left an hour ago. A tear escapes. And another, and another. Until I'm sobbing. Anger consumes me. Why me?! I push over the night stand. The lamp shatters. I swipe everything off my desk and stomp on it. I could see red.
"WHY ME?!" I scream. Pulling my hair in frustration. I push and punch my closet doors. I scream again. A heart broken scream. I push over the chair in my room. Kicking it so it crashes into the bathroom door. I rip the sheets from my bed and attack the pillow with screams and punches. I throw the blanket on the other side of the room. I scream again.
"I HATE YOU! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" I shout. I grab my other lamp and begin hitting it against the wall until it breaks. I scream again, and again.
"I HATE YOU! WHAT DID I DO?! WHY ME?!" And I fall to the ground. Sadness replacing my burst of anger. My room was a mess. I put my head in my hands. I scream, pulling at my hair. Wanting to leave. I want to be gone. I want to be with her. I rock back and forth. My sobs become quieter by the minute.
"I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry." And I let the darkness consume me.

A/N
Sorry for not updating in a while. Sorry for length of chapter. Hope you liked it.
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