Sadder, but Wiser

Ch. 1 - A Mournful Melody

Matt’s POV:

I entered the cemetery still in shock and feeling numb, as grief was flooding trough my entire body. Death wasn’t anything I was unaccustomed to. No, in my profession it happened more frequently than most people would like to think, yet the death of somebody this close to me... I had never experienced before. I can’t even describe how I felt, it was gut-wrenching.

I have seen death before, I’ve stared it straight in the eye, I’ve even witnessed a murder right in front of me, but never had I felt anything like this. I’d only ever felt fear when thinking of death. I’d never really seen the sad, gut-wrenching, sorrow filled part of it clearly, but now I was in that position myself, because the person who was dead was my best friend… Chris.

He died in a bus crash and in the same accident both his wife, Aoi, and his parents passed away as well. Leaving both his baby sister and his children orphaned. His children, my godchildren, Haruki and Hinata, and I hadn’t been notified before a whole month after their departure. More than three weeks after their funeral. It was killing me that I didn’t get to go to my best friend’s funeral. Never got the chance to say goodbye properly, because now they were gone, and I had no way of getting them back.

I actually felt betrayed, that I hadn’t been told. That nobody informed me before it was too late, though I knew that nobody could be blamed for it. I had been on a case as an undercover agent, so they didn't really have any way to contact me, but it still hurt. That nobody told me so that I could go to the funeral. It was my best friend and his family that was buried for god’s sake! And I needed to take care of my godchildren. Both their parents where dead and yet their godfather, the one supposed to now take the place as their guardian, hadn’t even showed his face yet.

I felt like total crap and even though I really couldn’t be blamed for it, I felt guilt mixing with the grief because I hadn’t been there, though that was going to change today, as soon as those freaking bureaucrats could get their asses moving. As soon as I could process the shocking news, my thoughts went to Hinata and Haruki, because even if hadn’t seen them more than just a few times the past two years they were still my godchildren and I love them and needed to be there for them, though so far I had definitely not been the Godfather they deserved.

I'd been so overjoyed I could barely contain myself when they were born and when Chris and Aoi had started calling me Uncle Matt, I was pretty sure my heart would burst from the pride and joy I felt. I seriously had no idea how Chris survived the happiness I was certain he was feeling, when the twins were born. I felt like I was bursting, so I couldn’t even begin to imagine his joy. He’d been so happy I actually thought he might have gone crazy, the way he was acting. He had been jumping around, dancing and singing, while laughing and smiling. Grinning like a goof all the time. I had no doubts in my mind that his face ended up sore from all the smiling.

He and Aoi had looked like the happiest parents on earth and the love that they had for each other was so strong that sometimes being in the same room as them when they were together was just too much. The memory of the day when the twins were born was still the most precious memory I had, and certainly one of Aoi and Chris’. Yet now they were both dead and had left their children orphaned. Hina and Haru were living with Chris’ baby sister, Anna, who I didn’t really know too well. We’d only met five times and the last time I saw her was four years ago, when she was still only fourteen.

If I recalled correctly, as I was pretty sure I did, we’d met twice when I’d come to their home with Chris during holidays. Then once when we went on vacation together, Chris had invited Aoi and me to come with their family to Hawaii, probably the best vacation in my life, and then again when she had come to visit Aoi and him in college, and then again at Hina and Haru’s baptizing. Yeah, that had to be right. I had met her five times, though I had never really talked with her much. Not that I hadn’t tried.

She was six years younger than Chris, and five years younger than me, I’d started school a year early so I was 18 and Chris 19 when we met in College. We had Criminology together and even though we only saw each other in class we quickly became great friends. Chris was the really social and outgoing type, which brings me back to Anna, because she was his polar opposite. She’s shy, and I’m not talking about just a little bit shy. No, she’s the timid and extremely shy type, or at least that’s how she came off to me. Though I suppose I had little to base any conclusions about her on, as she would just magically disappear whenever I entered a room.

Chris and Aoi both laughed it off, saying that she probably had a harmless crush on me or something and that she wasn’t normally that shy, but to me it seemed more like she thought I was frightening. Sometimes I’d felt like an ogre or something, huge and intimidating. Somehow I had the feeling she thought I would bite her head off if she came to close, but from what I’d seen of her when she wasn’t aware that I was nearby, she was an extremely kind girl. She was caring and gentle with her mother, who had breast cancer and was going through radiation treatment at the time, but she was also really funny and witty, and I had to admit that she was cute. Even though she was my best friends little sister and a lot younger than me, I couldn’t deny the fact that she was rather pretty.

Her hair was a beautiful color, something between dark blond and a light golden reddish brown hair color, and her hair was cut short in a bob-ish cut that reached her shoulders, and her eyes where a beautiful mixture of blue, green and gray. The last time I saw her she was probably about 4ft11 so she was still tiny and had an underdeveloped little body, though I was pretty sure she’d changed a lot in the last few years. Four years is a long time after all, and she was probably no longer the kid I recalled her to be.

I ended my extremely long train of thoughts as I neared the area in the cemetery in which their graves where. I’d decided that before I went to find Haru and Hina, I needed to see Chris. Visit their graves. I walked a bit further… and was nailed to the spot by the most beautiful tones entering my head. The song was so sad, so mournful and filled to the brim with grief and loss, but it also conveyed love, in its purest form and the original message of the song; the joy of life, and being alive.

I had never heard anything so beautiful before in my life, the music and the feelings that the flutist had, was sent straight into me, the raw emotions gnawing at my insides. I knew the melody very well, I'd heard it so many times. It was A Wonderful World written by Bob Thiele and George Weiss, made famous by Louis Armstrong, yet this song, the one the unknown flutist played was one I had never heard before. I know it contradicts itself, but that is how it felt. It was the same, yet the feelings the song conveyed made it completely differeny.

It was so beautiful that I was rendered utterly unable to move.

Then when the song suddenly stopped, I started moving again. I ran to the spot from which the music had come, and saw a beautiful female figure disappear out of the cemetery, and I realized that I couldn’t catch up to her, though I fully intended to find her again. I needed to know who could play the song in such a way. Sending their feelings straight into me, just by playing a song.

I stood stock still for a few more minutes, before I realized what I was supposed to be doing, and guilt rushed through my body again. I snapped completely out of it when I realized whose grave I was standing in front of.

It was Chris' and Aoi’s grave.

[A/N: I know the ending of this chapter is weird, but it's really late and I'm exhausted, so I'll edit it before I post the next chapter instead of doing anything about it now...

And if you've come this far, then; Thank you so much for reading my story! <3 ]