I'm I just your Bestfriend?

Chapter 25

Onika❤️

My dew date is in two weeks September the 1 lawd I know my baby about to be dramatic and bad.

I was in the living room watching tv and eating, I'm over this whole pregnancy I'm tired Chile.

I heard bey running down the stairs "best friend guess what."

"What?"

"So you remember when Lauren was tell us that Kelly eat the booty?"

"Yeah. What about it? " I said looking at her and she looked back at me and I gashed. "No way."

"Yes way, your girl Lauren be sniffing booty cheeks too. And get this she was the one that ate Kelly ass first."

"Wasn't she the one that was outing Kelly about eat ass?"

"That's the funny part about it old girl over there outing Kelly and she was the one with ass mouth first." She said and I laughed.

"Them some nasty motherfuckers." We laughed and talked about any and everything for the rest of the day. Moment like these I cherish.

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Beyoncé

I was happy and sad. I was happy about the fact that I'm finally having a child to love and to protect, to have someone that actually look up to me and say that's my ma proudly that feeling is everything.

Reason why I'm sad is I don't know if I'm going to be a good mom thats what I want to be. As a kid I was teased, beaten, abused mentally physically emotionally you name it I experienced it my mom didn't know.

I was so angry as a kid, having that feeling was not cool you know getting up everyday wanting things to change life to become better but the only way out was being an adult so I didn't really experience that childhood like I was suppose I was so focus on getting older.

The only good thing was my little friend group, my mama, sister and onika they were there for me they are the reason I'm here.

My dad was the worst that man hated me and crazy thing is I love him still do and that's what's messed up. I tried and tried to be the best child you know I had good grades tried to keep out of trouble and things like that and non of that worked.

As a kid no matter how young mental health does matter and that's what most parents failed to comprehend children experience things too. I understand that they are out there working hard for us and struggling but kids do to.

I wanted therapy but I was afraid to say that because of how closed off I was, I didn't know how to deal with anything but wanted to figure it out on my own.

My mama, I wanted her to do some more you know I didn't experience love from my dad I wanted her to ask me about my day, how I'm feeling, come spend sometime with me or just talked to me. I would have been a little better.

I'm happy now don't get me wrong but I often wonder if I'm going to be good enough for onika and the baby, I worry if one day she's going to leave me because I'm not enough for her or she fall out of love with me.

I don't know what I would do but at the end of the day I know I would have to move on with my life. I put so much blood sweat and tear in this relationship but the good thing about it is onika did the same.

She has been there for in way I expect and wanted my mom to be there. I think I'm going to start therapy to be my best version because these negative thoughts are going to drive me insane I just want to have a free mind.

"Baby why aren't you in bed with me?" Nika said.

"Hey, I'm just down here thinking I guess."

"About What?"

"My dad and just everything I've been through."

"Baby, I'm sorry that you had to went through all of that believe if I could have done more back then I would have but you were so closed off at the same time, so I didn't really know everything then. But I promise you, you're gonna be so much better than him in every way, guess why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're Beyoncé your are your own self, you have your own pathway, you could have chose to be like that man a long time ago but you didn't. I'm so proud of you like you came so far when you could have given up. Life is precious especially the one that is grown inside my tummy, this little human have the greatest person as mama because I know you're going to do everything in your powers to protect them and that's a fact."

"I know thanks i love you."

"I love you too now come to bed I want to cuddle."

"That's all do want me here for to cuddle and get some penis whenever you want."

"And the problem is?" She said looking in my eye.

"Nothing baby."

"Thought so now let's go."

"I want take you on a date to more because I have a surprise for you."

"What's the surprise?" She said.

"I wouldn't be a surprise is I tell you duh."

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I push you back down the steps duh."

"See now if I said some shit like i would be wrong."

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I didn't proof read....

What you think they're going to have